KuroFai Songfics
by ReiMori
Summary: A series of songs made into fanfictions with the KuroFai pairing.
1. Behind Blue Eyes

**dreamgirl: Hey y'all, what's up? I'm in the middle of writing the current chapter for My Question, His Answer and finally remembered to write a songfic to a song I've been in love with since, like, September. So here it is!!! My previous song fic "I Will Be" will be featured at the end. For now, this is the past and the beginning of the journey.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TRC or the song "Behind Blue Eyes" The Who does. But the Limp BIzkit version is 100 times better. go listen to it. IT'S AWESOME!!!**

**Enjoy!!**

* * *

**Behind Blue Eyes**

Fay didn't know how to express himself to Kurogane. He knew that the ninja could see right through him, but there were times when he couldn't exactly say everything. Kurogane just didn't seem to understand, so Fai just stayed quiet. The kids were out, with Mokona, at a thing called "school". Fai was writing, one of his favorite past-times. While writing, he came up with a song.

_**No one knows what it's like**_

_**To be the bad man**_

_**To be the sad man**_

_**Behind blue eyes**_

Fai had no idea where the lyrics were coming from; he just let his hand go free and his mind go wild.

**And no one knows what it's like**

_**To be hated**_

_**To be fated**_

_**To telling only lies**_

Everything coming from the Fai's pen was not only emotions, but also memories and truths that were hidden. He wondered where Kurogane was at the time, because he felt himself on the verge of tears. With Kurogane around, he couldn't allow the mask to fall.

_**But my dreams they aren't as empty**_

_**As my conscience seems to be**_

_**I have hours, only lonely**_

_**My love is vengeance**_

_**That's never free**_

Fai knew that everything had a price: food, clothes, utensils…even feelings such as love. He teared up as he thought of his love for the Japanese man that was nowhere in sight. He would be disgusted with how filthy Fai was if he ever found out. All the lies, the facades, it all hurt Fai. But it hurt Fai evern more knowing that he can never love…or else everyone would be doomed to an eternity in hell.

_**No one knows what it's like**_

_**To feel these feelings**_

_**Like I do**_

_**And I blame you**_

_**No one bites back as hard**_

_**On their anger**_

_**None of my pain woe**_

_**Can show through**_

The one with cerulean eyes knew believed that no one could possibly understand him. No one knew. No one cared. But he was still, very much, in love with Kurogane. He blamed the shinobi for every emotion he has felt. Every action he has made and everything he can't give him. Fai may be able to love, but he can never let Kurogane know. Which is one of the reasons Fai has continued to keep his mask on. If none of his agony, sorrows or romantic feelings show, no one will have the need to save him. Never.

_**But my dreams they aren't as empty**_

_**As my conscience seems to be**_

_**I have hours, only lonely**_

_**My love is vengeance**_

_**That's never free**_

Fai wasn't a bad person. He just had the worst life a person could have. And because of all his problems, he was forced to be a dirty and lying person. Sure, Fai was magician. A magician who has lived a thousand lives, but all he wants is to live a peaceful life with having the need to run. He had dreams and hopes as a child. But time itself has ruined every bit of innocence he had left in him. Love was the only thing he hasn't felt…until now.

_**No one knows what it's like**_

_**To be mistreated**_

_**To be defeated**_

_**Behind blue eyes**_

_**And no one knows how to say**_

_**That they're sorry**_

_**And don't worry**_

_**I'm not telling lies.**_

While writing his song, Fai thinks he should write his feelings in a letter. A letter to Kurogane telling him how the blonde has felt ever since the first day he met him. Fai has been raped from his dreams and has been tortured in every possible way. All he had left were these feelings on a piece of paper. He wrote, _'Dear Kurogane, This may not be the best way to begin a letter, but I will do it anyhow. I understand that you are a man of great pride and strength. You protect those whom you love, and all of your outstanding qualities have drawn me to you. What I am trying to say is…I love you. You may think I am a liar…I am…was, but I am not lying to you about my feelings. You are the only one to see past my walls and the only one to make me feel such feelings. Oh, if only you were to love me too. Thank you, for everything. Love, Fai'._

_**But my dreams they aren't as empty**_

_**As my conscience seems to be**_

_**I have hours, only lonely**_

_**My love is vengeance**_

_**That's never free**_

Fai never thought that the day would come when he would tell Kurogane that he loved him. But that day had come too soon. He finished up his tearing and began his lyrics again.

_**No one knows what it's like**_

_**To be the bad man**_

_**To be the sad man**_

_**Behind blue eyes**_

He stacked both his papers onto others so that, if Kurogane were to somehow appear, he couldn't see them. He grabbed the letter and began using his magic to translate it into Kurogane's native language. He sneaked out his room and into the ninja's. To his surprise, Kurogane was sleeping. So he set the letter onto his bedside table and locked the door on the way out. He didn't want to see Kurogane's reaction after reading it. He ran back into his room and took out his lyrics. 'Oh shit', he thought. He realized he didn't give Kurogane the right paper. Fai had translated his song instead of the letter! He felt like a complete dumbass now. 'Well, at least it saved me an embarrassing confession!' Fai thought optimistically. Now all that followed was Kurogane's thoughts on Fai's true feelings. If the ninja were not dense, he would certainly understand what was being implied.

* * *

**dreamgirl: This will be a series of songfics and will most likely end with "I Will Be". If you have any recommendations on any songs you would like me to include, I would totally do it. Please Review!!!**


	2. All I Ever Wanted

**dreamgirl: Hola, after just one day, I updated! That's a new record for me! Whatever, I've gotten requests and I plan on doing them to the fullest. This one is from Kurogane's POV. I already have a list of songs to do songfics back in forth between Kurogane and Fai. And thanks to all of my reviewers and requesters!!**

_disclaimer: I don't friggin' own TRC, we've already established that sad truth. I also don't own "All I Ever Wanted", Basshunter does. I saw an AMV on it the other day and this idea just popped into my head. Hope you like it!_

_Enjoy!!_

**_

* * *

_**

**_All I ever wanted_**

**_Was to see you smiling_**

**_I know that I love you_**

**_Oh baby, why don't you see?_**

Kurogane hadn't known the mage for that long. A couple of weeks one might say. But within those few weeks, he had come to love Fai. Yes, he indeed loved him. He didn't know why or how…he just did. And not too long ago, he had witnessed the mage do something unthinkable, he had walked into the ninja's room without permission. Of course, Fai didn't know he was watching him, he thought he had been sleeping. But that comes with being a ninja, being able to lay still and breathe softly to have your enemies underestimate you. Hell, he got a kick out of that!

**_All I ever wanted_**

**_Was to see you smiling_**

**_All I ever wanted_**

**_Was to make you mine_**

**_I know that I love you_**

**_Oh baby, why don't you see?_**

**_That's all I ever wanted_**

**_Was you and me…_**

After the mage had walked out, he got up and went to see what Fai had left on his bedside table. _'A letter? What for?'_ he thought to himself. Little did he know that they were lyrics to a song Fai had just written seconds ago. Kurogane read the words, _'No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes'_. He continued to read and soon found a rhythm to the song. He wondered if this is exactly how the mage felt. He also wondered why in the hell would Fai put THIS on his table? If Kurogane knew any better, he'd think that the idiot mistook this page for another. _'Ha, dumbass'._

_**All I ever wanted**_

_**Was to see you smiling**_

_**All I ever wanted**_

_**Was to make you mine**_

_**I know that I love you**_

_**Oh baby, why don't you see?**_

_**That all I ever wanted**_

_**Was you and me…**_

Right now, Kurogane was trying to figure out a few things. Did the mage really like him? Well, by a few lines here, he would guess so. The ninja wasn't conceited or stupid, he was tended to look for deeper meaning in things. At least, the blonde had realized that he saw past his stupid mask. He didn't want to deal with a freakin' retard that insisted on lying to him. Fai would probably still lie, but the shinobi could try to get him out of the habit.

_**I'm so alone**_

_**Here on my own**_

_**And I'm waiting for you to come**_

_**I want to be**_

_**A part of you**_

_**Think of all the things we could do**_

And what the hell did the mage mean that Kurogane didn't understand how he felt!? Sure, he might not have been tortured, humiliated or whatever the idiot went through, but he has had depressing things happen to him! He witnessed his parents die, he went crazy for a while, he was sent on a journey, and now he has to deal with a lying mage who calls friggin' puppy names!! Isn't that frustrating enough? Kurogane was in his room alone, but he wanted Fai with him. Although he may be annoying, he was good company and Kurogane wanted to get to know him better. To be a part of his life.

**_And everyday_**

**_You're in my head_**

**_I want you in my bed_**

**_You are the one_**

**_You're in my eyes_**

**_All I ever wanted_**

Fai was addicting to Kurogane. He couldn't stop thinking about those plump, pink lips; pale, blonde hair; those bright, blue eyes; or those luscious, feminine curves. If Kurogane ever had a moment in his life where he questioned his sexuality, it would be now. He didn't doubt that the mage was a man (after having to shower with him and Syaoran) and yet he still wanted to make passionate love to the blonde. He had no idea where all of his feelings came from, they just…did. Kurogane turned towards an object that had been distracting him for quite a while. A thing called a "ray-dee-oh" was playing some sort of dance music and had the most annoying lyrics. Lyrics that helped Kurogane understand his own feelings. He listened closely before shutting it off.

**_All I ever wanted_**

**_Was to see you smiling_**

**_All I ever wanted_**

**_Was to make you mine_**

**_I know that I love you_**

**_Oh baby, why don't you see?_**

**_That all I ever wanted_**

**_Was you and me…(repeats 3x)_**

He shut it off because he couldn't handle it anymore,_ 'How the hell would a stupid box knows how I feel?'_ He sat down on his bed and started thinking intensely. Should he let the mage know his feelings, or should he wait?

* * *

**dreamgirl: Did the song fit? I don't know, I felt it did, but I could be wrong. The lyrics are cute and funny. My friends cracked up when the part, "I want you in my bed" came up. I thought it was hot. Well, tell me what you think!! Reviewing makes the world stay animated!**


	3. Everything

**_Everything_**

**dreamgirl: Okay, I've decided to update everyday from now on!! It's so easy for to write that I just always feel the urge to do so. I don't really care if I get reviews or not, I'm doing this for fun and for those who requested a song. But I would totally love it if you guys reviewed. **

**disclaimer: I don't own TRC, CLAMP does. I also don't own "Everything", Lifehouse does. Got it? I've been tortured enough with these depressing disclaimers. **

**Enjoy!!!**

**_

* * *

_**

**_Find me here, speak to me_**

**_I want to feel you, I need to hear you_**

**_You are the light that's leading me_**

**_To the place where I find peace again_**

The group was in Oto Country now, after Jade and Koryo Country. It has been a fairly short journey, but it's far from over. Fai and Kurogane had just encountered some demons called "Oni" and Kurogane had finally spoken up about his thoughts on Fai. Words that pierced Fai's heart like a blade. The ninja had said,_ 'The ones I hate most are those who give up their lives before all hope is gone'_. That line alone tore the mage, but he kept his mouth shut not wanting to anger the shinobi even more.

**_You are the strength that keeps me walking_**

**_You are the hope that me trusting_**

**_You are the light to my soul_**

**_You are my purpose, You're everything_**

**_How can I stand with you and not be moved by you?_**

**_Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?_**

Kurogane willingly carried him to the bar, where they sat down and drank. Fai then randomly began speaking, _'I have been waiting for someone who can stay by my side'._ The blonde couldn't tell what kind of expression was on the Japanese man's face. Was it sympathy, guilt, maybe even…love? For as long as they had been together, Kurogane has always protected Fai, how could Fai NOT fall in love with him? When all hope seemed lost, or when he was on the point to dying, Kurogane was always there to save him and help him keep a purpose. If it were up to the magician, he would've chosen death a long time ago. But since luck had never been on his side, Kurogane was, apparently, his purpose to stay alive.

**_You calm the storms, and you give me rest_**

**_You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall_**

**_You steal my heart, and you take my breath away_**

**_Would you take me in, take me deeper now_**

And as he carries him home, he uses such gentle hands. One would've never thought that they belonged to e murderous ninja who, just minutes before, killed many demons by himself. Fai was getting used to Kurogane more than he liked. He didn't want to get any closer to him then he already had. The mage still wondered about that lyric incident. Had Kurogane read it…or just thrown it away? It didn't matter to him, with just being able to be held by Kurogane was enough for him. He calmed every hectic nerve in Fai's body every little thing he did made Fai fall even deeper in love with him.

**_How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_**

**_Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?_**

**_And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_**

**_Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?_**

Kurogane brought Fai up to his room because Fai had gotten "drunk" from drinking too much wine with the Princess. This might be the only time when Kurogane hadn't seen past Fai's mask. The mage wasn't really drunk, well, maybe just a tad, but he was still conscious of his surroundings. For one, he knew exactly what he was doing when he kissed Kurogane on the lips and he just pretended to pass out after that. He didn't know how it was possible that, compared to Fai Kurogane was, a child could have such a major impact on his life. He could be standing right next to him, not do anything, and yet the blonde could melt to the floor. It couldn't get any better than this.

**_'Cause you're all I want, You're all I need_**

**_You're everything, everything_**

**_You're all I want, You're all I need_**

**_You're everything, everything (Repeat 2x)_**

**_And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?_**

**_Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this?_**

**_How can I stand here with You and not be moved by you?_**

**_Would you tell me, how could it be any better than this? (Repeat 2x)_**

As soon as the coast was clear, Fai got up from bed and headed over to a tiny desk in his room. He pulled out a binder he kept with him that included his previous song "Behind Blue Eyes", which he had to steal back from Kurogane and translate it back into Celesian. He began to write whatever he felt from that day. He wrote: _'Find me here, speak to me. I need to feel you, I need to hear you…_' He wrote until he was sure everyone went to sleep. By the end, he had written another sentimental song entitled, "Everything". If only his writings were not just words on paper, but were truly spoken.

* * *

**dreamgirl: I really like this song and felt that it kind of fit the situation. All the songs I write are personal favorites, there would be more but I have so many songs that it wouldn't be possible. Anyway, please review!! Reviews make me smile and keep KuroFai alive!!!**


	4. Never Too Late

**_Never Too Late_**

**dreamgirl: Okay, so I'm already up to chapter 4!!!! I can't believe that my songfics have been getting attention. I would like to tank all my reviewers for keeping my hopes up!!! Anyway, this is one of my favorites songs and I think I did a pretty good job on it. I've also seen a bunch of AMV's of KuroFai with this song. But this is my own idea. Of course, it takes place in Oto Country.**

**disclaimer: I don't friggin' own TRC, *big fat teardrop*. I hurt too much. I don't own "Never Too Late", Three Days Grace does. (more specifically the sexy Adam Gontier does). He's mine!! Back off!!**

**Enjoy!!!**

**_

* * *

_**

**_This world will never be what I expected_**

**_And if I don't belong who would have guessed it_**

**_I will not leave alone everything that I own_**

**_To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late_**

The mage didn't understand at all. When he saved his little scrawny ass, it wasn't out of sympathy; it was because Kurogane actually CARED about him. The blonde thought that Kurogane hated him, but that wasn't the case at all. It pissed the ninja off to know that Fai didn't fight for his own life. Kurogane even told him that he would kill to protect those whom he loved, and that included Fai himself. The ninja tried to get it through his thick skull, but it just wasn't working out fine enough. The Japanese man knew that the universe around them was as sick and twisted as the mage's fake smile, and he knew he couldn't leave Fai alone in a universe as vile as the one they lived in.

**_Even if I say it'll be alright_**

**_Still I hear you say you want to end your life_**

**_Now and again we try to just stay alive_**

**_Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late_**

**_It's never too late_**

Kurogane knew that Fai wanted to die, he just didn't want to accept it. He didn't understand WHY he was so suicidal, but that didn't change a thing. He would fight for his life AND Fai's, because the mage definitely had something to live for. After what the blue-eyed man had said at the bar, the shinobi was certain that he would try to make the other find a meaning in life. Fai might be longing to die, but Kurogane wouldn't allow him to. He had to make Fai see that it wasn't to late to change all of the things of the past. He couldn't change them exactly, but he could at least get over them and start off with a new clean slate. If only it were that simple to get it through to the blonde.

**_No one will ever see this side reflected_**

**_And if there's something wrong who would have guessed it_**

**_And I have left alone everything that I own_**

**_To make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late_**

Even Kurogane had done things in his past that he's not too proud of. But he left that kind of lifestyle a long time ago. Fai could do the same; all he had to do was stop lying. The one with red eyes had left more than just his former lifestyle, but also his whole life and family back home. He left Tomoyo, Souma, Her majesty, his soldier friends, his parents in their tomb. He left everything and as sent on this journey. If he could choose now if he could stay with the object of his affection or go back home to his friends and family, he would desert them any day and stay with Fai. It's nothing personal; it's just that he had grown to love the liar even if it went against his own rules.

**_Even if I say it'll be alright_**

**_Still I hear you say you want to end your life_**

**_Now and again we try to just stay alive_**

**_Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late_**

**_It's never too late_**

Kurogane had just come back from the mage's room after dropping him off because he was too drunk to carry himself. Fai had just kissed him and passed out like it was nothing. But he knew better, he was probably faking it all just to get away with it. Maybe. He wasn't too sure himself. Right now, he just wanted to pretend it never happened so that it wouldn't cause him too much of a boner. Instead, he turned on the "ray-dee-oh", a little box he had come to love as much as Fai.

**_The world we knew won't come back_**

**_The time we've lost can't get back_**

**_The life we had won't be ours again_**

**_This world will never be what I expected_**

**_And if I don't belong_**

It amazed the ninja how much the little box could know about situations. It seemed as if it understood Kurogane's feeling so well. Or maybe it just seemed like that because Kurogane had a bottle of tequila in his hand that he sneaked from the bar. As the song played, he kept thinking of Fai. How could he make the idiot mage see that you can't turn back time and whatever has been done…has been done. He might've screwed up his life once, he might even do it again, but he can at least start over with a new conscience. Fai's world, Kurogane's world, even the kids' world is messed up. Nothing is perfect, that's just the way it is. No one exactly belongs anywhere, one just needs to find somewhere to be happy and not lie to oneself.

**_Even if I say it'll be alright_**

**_Still I hear you say you want to end your life_**

**_Now and again we try to just stay alive_**

**_Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late_**

**_It's never too late_**

Kurogane didn't know how long he sat like that, drinking alcohol and listening to music all night. Apparently, on this radio, one could replay a song if one wanted to. So he kept replaying the same song and found deeper meaning to it each and every lyric. He stayed up until the dawn broke out. He couldn't handle it anymore; he desperately needed to let Fai know that he wasn't alone, that he would always have Kurogane by his side. He got up and stalked off to the magician's room. He stepped inside and his breath was caught by the sole image of Fai's sleeping face and bed-hair.

**_Maybe we'll turn it around 'cause it's not too late_**

**_It's never too late_**

**_It's not too late, it's never too late_**

He rushed over to the blonde's side and brushed away his hair from his face. Maybe it was the strong alcohol that was catching up to him or the tiredness he felt, but it caused him to lean down and kiss Fai's gentle lips. "You're not alone, Fai. I love you, even if you can't change. It's not too late, it's never too late".

* * *

**dreamgirl: Did you like it? I think it came out nicely. I was listening to the song over and over again while writing and I just kept getting hit with wacky ideas that weren't appropriate and would definitely be rated NC-17. But since this is a songfic story, I couldn't really do that. Anyway, Please Review!!! It keeps me going!! America runs on reviews!!**


	5. If You Don't Mean It

**dreamgirl: This is one of my favorites!!! I've been listening to it over and over again. Oh, and good news, I'm also going to write awesome song-fics to the following animes: Death Note, Gravitation, Shugo Chara, xxxHolic and others that are still currently under works. **

**disclaimer: Dude, I've already done this five times. But I guess I'll have to do it once more...I don't own TRC. Me don't own "If You Don't Mean It" either, Jon Peter Lewis does. But the Dean Geyer (Australian hottie with sexy voice!!! *Pwns*) version is much better!!!**

**Enjoy!!! **

* * *

**_If You Don't Mean It_**

After Kurogane's confession, everything seemed as if nothing happened. The ninja even pretended that the kiss never happened. All the while, Fai was completely oblivious to the fact that the taller man had confessed his feelings to him. Even though he didn't hear it, he kind of felt it there. The mage was clingy-er than usual and kept spouting out unnecessary words like, "Kuro-pon loves me!!" or "I am absolutely in love with you Kuro-koi!" or even "Let's take a bath together, Kuro-sexy!" But all of these were only half-truths. Fai actually did love the shinobi, but whenever he said words like that they weren't meant to be taken seriously.

**_I don't know how_**

**_How to feel_**

**_Let the words_**

**_Come easily to me_**

**_You seem lost_**

**_In your thoughts_**

**_I find it hard to breathe_**

**_Why won't you tell me what it is?_**

**_It's driving me crazy trying to second-guess you_**

The blonde and the ninja were currently in the middle of an argument. They had just arrived to a new world and they had to share a room together. The whole walk to their room, Fai kept shouting fake love confessions (or at least they seemed fake) to Kurogane and kept teasing him. Kurogane then shouted at the mage to "Shut up because nobody wants to hear you!! You're just an annoying prick to us all! Why don't you just go die?" Fai could tell that Kurogane didn't mean it, he was just tired and annoyed because Fai had crossed the line again. But that was enough to upset Fai and avoid the Japanese man for the rest of the day. Whenever the two would bump into each other, a lump always formed in the magician's throat. He was confused. He didn't know if it was because he loved him or because he felt like crying. And it was driving Fai crazy not knowing why Kurogane wasn't speaking to him or why he couldn't keep his mask up 24/7. It was awkward for Fai because, usually, Kurogane would've apologized by now. Usually.

**_Don't say you love me,_**

**_I don't believe it!_**

**_Don't say the words_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

**_Don't want to hear it_**

**_Out in the open_**

**_Keep it inside_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

**_Don't even want to talk about it_**

**_I know that I could live without it_**

Fai was in his/Kurogane's room writing all that had happened those three days. Kurogane was sleeping right now, and so he had time to write a song about it. He began even with what had happened the day after the argument. It was at the crack of dawn, and the kids were still not up. Kurogane heard Fai crying, "Oi, mage, why the hell are you crying?" If only he weren't so goddamn dense, thought the mage. Fai didn't respond, and he didn't need to. Fai knew that Kurogane knew exactly why he was crying. The ninja sighed and sat on the edge of Fai's bed, "Look, I'm not very good at this, so I'm only gonna freakin' say this once. I'm sorry that I yelled at you. I wasn't exactly mad at you, I was mad at myself. So, I'm sorry". The mage mumbled something like, "Why was Kuro-puu mad?" Kurogane sighed again and said, "I was confused on whether or not I would be able to hold myself back at night. Because…I love you, Fai". That was all it took to have the magician crying again, "No!! You cannot love me!! You do not mean it, you can't!" Fai was too confused himself from hearing those words that he didn't know how to respond.

**_If it's right_**

**_If it's wrong_**

**_Would someone let me know?_**

**_It's the game_**

**_I can't play_**

**_Do I just let you go?_**

**_Maybe it's just the way it is_**

**_I get the feeling that you know it's over_**

Kurogane left after that and just whispered another apology and went out. Fai didn't know if being in love was right or wrong for him. He was destined to kill those he loved, but no one needed to know that. It hurt too much already knowing that he couldn't be in love, but was anyway. It was all just a sick, sick game that he couldn't take anymore. He had thought of suicide, but that would just make the children miss him and Kurogane…he didn't want to think what Kurogane would do. He'd probably kill himself, too, and Fai didn't want that. Could the mage just let it all go? He once had a dream, the night he had gotten drunk, that a voice kept telling him _"It's not too late, it's never too late_". Is this similar to that? Should he just pretend like the confession never happened? But if he did that, the ninja would surely be heart broken. So…what happened next?

**_Don't say you love me,_**

**_I don't believe it!_**

**_Don't say the words_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

**_Don't want to hear it_**

**_Out in the open_**

**_Keep it inside_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

Fai didn't want to hear the very words Kurogane had just said a couple of hours ago. While he was writing his song, he thought of how he longed to hear those words. And now that they had been spoken, it was painful. He didn't know if what he said was true or not. He had been lied to an awful lot in all his years of living. He knows that he should have more confidence in Kurogane, and he knows that the ninja is not a liar, but you never. The mage didn't want to risk his heart being broken…again. He kept writing and writing, _'Keep it inside if you don't mean it'._

**_Don't even want to talk about it_**

**_I know that I could live without it_**

**_I just don't want to talk about it_**

**_God knows I could live without it_**

**_Yeah_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

**_Yeah_**

**_You gotta let me know_**

The mage didn't want to face Kurogane again and talk about this whole fiasco. He could live without it…or so he tried to convince himself. He just wanted to know if what the shinobi said was true or not. Did he really love him? If not, he shouldn't have said such reckless words. Fai might seem like a strong-willed person for being able to smile even though he feels lousy, but that smile is fake. He was actually emotionally scarred, disturbed, raped. He had no other way to make himself feel better, so instead, he tried to make those around believe that he was fine. The only one to know about his inner pain was Kurogane. He wanted to know so bad, but he didn't have the gall to ask him.

**_Don't say you love me,_**

**_I don't believe it!_**

**_Don't say the words_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

**_Don't want to hear it_**

**_Out in the open_**

**_Keep it inside_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

After Fai had cried his eyes dry, Kurogane came back to him and didn't wait for the mage's reaction. He just pinned him down on the bed and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Fai kissed back, he didn't mean to, it was just was reflex. They parted for air, "I love you, mage. Don't you dare think otherwise. You might not allow yourself to love, but you should". Fai felt brand new tears settle into his eyes, but he couldn't cry to such beautiful words. The blonde stammered, "B-but…my p-past. I-I am dirty". Kurogane kissed him again and practically yelled, "Damn it, I don't care about your past! The past is the past. It's never too late to start over again". There they were, those words that an angel said in his dreams. That angel…it was Kurogane. The voice he heard was his beloved one's. Fai couldn't bring himself to believe such words, but for now, he let his current emotions take him away.

**_Don't say you love me,_**

**_I don't believe it!_**

**_Don't say the words_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

**_Don't want to hear it_**

**_Out in the open_**

**_Keep it inside_**

**_If you don't mean it_**

**_How you feel_**

**_How you feel_**

Kurogane had bedded Fai and kissed him passionately multiple times. Before beginning, Fai pleaded Kurogane to never say that he loved him again. "If you do, I will surely break", the mage had said. Kurogane accepted what was being told to him but made love to the svelte blonde either way. Fai was content with just kisses and one-sided sex. Or at least he knew that's what Kurogane thought. To Fai, he wanted it to be a mere past time. But he new, subconsciously, that the love was mutual. If only he could let his lover (but he will never admit it) say the words and let him mean it. For now, he had to keep it inside until Fai allowed him to. But the mage knew the ninja wasn't good at taking orders. So here Fai was, writing a new song to stick in his binder. He had gotten up after he was positive his part time lover was asleep so he could do so. _'Please wait for me Kurogane'_, was the last thing he thought as he finished up his song.

* * *

**dreamgirl: Believe it or not, I write these songfics the same day I post them. I live in NY, so I was in the city from 2 p.m. to 7p.m. and just got home when I wrote this. I hope it's as good as I wanted it to come out. Don't ask what world they're in, I just kind of planned it to be a random songfic. But you can think that it takes place in Piffle if you want. Please review!!! They make me happy.**


	6. Chasing Cars

**dreamgirl: Here is Kurogane's side of what happened after "that night". The rating is going up because unfortunately, I can't stop myself from writing descriptive things and cursing. It's not even close to M, but it has all those kind of curses that aren't always considered to be curses. As for the sex, no description *smiles sadly*. I know, I wanted it to, but that's why I have other fanfictions that are rated M! **

**disclaimer: Okay, listen, I'm only freakin' 12 years old! I wouldn't be able to actually OWN TRC! I don't own "Chasing Cars" either, g'damn it, Snow Patrol does.**

**Enjoy!!**

* * *

**_Chasing Cars_**

It was the afternoon and the kids had gone out without disturbing the two men. Kurogane had just woken up from a night filled with mind-blowing sex. Fai was in the shower while Kurogane was lying on the bed. _'Well, what now? You told him you loved him, forced him into rape, now what?' _The ninja himself was confused. So instead, he took out something that he had seen in the store the other day when he went out after the confession. The thing he bought was called an "eye-pod". Or whatever it was called, it was a modern contraption that played all sorts of music. He could even record songs that played on the radio. He unplugged it from the wall charger and stuck the headphones in his ear.

**_We'll do it all_**

**_Everything_**

**_On our own_**

**_We don't need_**

**_Anything_**

**_Or anyone_**

While the song played, Kurogane began listening to the lyrics and thinking about the mage. Fai depended on his so-called "strategies" too much. The blonde thought that by hiding is pain he was protecting those whom he loved. Or at least that's what the ninja has come to understand. If the idiot just stopped lying and started trusting himself and those around him, he wouldn't need to hide anything. He wouldn't try to hide anything from Kurogane.

**_If I lay here_**

**_If I just lay here_**

**_Would you lie with me_**

**_And just forget the world?_**

He wondered if Fai, and when he got out of the goddamn shower, would lie down with him on the bed. Would he just forget about last night and think of it as a "one night stand"? Or would he truly start treating him like a lover? Not that Kurogane cared, it was just that he was caught up in the moment listening to the lyrics and all. But a part of the shinobi wanted the mage to acknowledge the fact that both of them had shared a night of passionate lovemaking. Kurogane sighed, he could see past Fai's walls…but he could never figure out what the blonde was thinking.

**_I don't quite know_**

**_How to say_**

**_How I feel_**

**_Those three words_**

**_Are said too much_**

**_They're not enough_**

Okay, so the confession had been a bit over dramatic, but it was the right thing to do. Getting over the fact that it was uncalled for, it was the moment the both had been waiting for. Of course, Kurogane thought it would be Fai who would crack first…but that's not the point! The point was that, since the ninja had expressed his love for the retard, the idiot didn't believe him. _'He was probably lied to too much as a kid'_, was Kurogane's only thought. But if a confession and SEX wasn't enough, then what was?

**_If I lay here_**

**_If I just lay here_**

**_Would you lie with me_**

**_And just forget the world?_**

Still listening to his ipod, Kurogane started to doze off, but caught himself and began thinking again. He was in a mental dispute with himself when Fai came out of the bathroom. The ninja's heart beat up and fought the urge to make love to the mage once again. Fai came out with just a towel around his slender waist and a small towel that was used to dry off his hair. As he rubbed the towel against his hair, Kurogane took notice of the very much noticeable marks on the pale man's skin. He smirked to himself; they were hickeys. And not just hickeys…they were love bites made by Kurogane himself.

**_Forget what we're told_**

**_Before we get too old_**

**_Show me a garden_**

**_That's bursting into life_**

The blonde pretended to not notice Kurogane, naked as he was, as he smirked to himself on the bed. So, Fai kept on drying his hair and walked towards the drawers that contained his clothes. With just a short stride, Kurogane noticed another thing. Fai was limping. His pride and ego had just gotten a whole lot bigger. He had penetrated Fai so hard that he couldn't walk straight!! Fai probably read the ninja's thoughts and blushed. Now, he felt better than before. The blonde slammed the drawers, went into the bathroom, slammed THAT door, and began dressing himself. Oh how Kurogane loved to make Fai blush. And who said love wasn't possible for either one of them?

**_Let's waste time_**

**_Chasing cars_**

**_Around our heads_**

**_I need your grace_**

**_To remind me_**

**_To find my own_**

Kurogane laid his head back again and started singing along to the song. Wait, ninjas don't sing. Damn it, he was in such a good mood that he was singing! But he didn't care, he had just remembered of the greatest thing that had ever happened…last night. See, this is exactly why he needs Fai, or at least one of the reasons. If the mage hadn't been so pale and sexy, Kurogane might've never done him and he would've never been reminded of how great he was in bed! The ninja needed Fai more than anything else. He kept his pride as high as the clouds. _'Papa would be proud',_ Kurogane joked.

**_If I lay here_**

**_If I just lay here_**

**_Would you lie with me_**

**_And just forget the world?_**

The ninja could think of a million reasons why he loved Fai and why he needed him. Kurogane wanted the mage with him for eternity and would go as far as marriage for him. Kurogane was never one for commitment and never really wanted kids, but for Fai, he would do anything. Of course, kids were out of the question, and this was one rare occasion where Kurogane actually wanted to get Fai pregnant. _'Damn him, he's a magician, he can make something happen',_ he tried telling himself. If only the blonde would admit it to himself and to his part time lover that he felt the same.

**_Forget what we're told_**

**_Before we get too old_**

**_Show me a garden_**

**_That's bursting into life_**

**_All that I am_**

**_All that I ever was_**

**_Is here in your perfect eyes_**

**_They're all I can see_**

In Nihon, gay couples weren't looked down upon…they were just kind of treated differently. But they weren't in Japan and Fai still didn't admit that they were a couple, so it still didn't matter. Kurogane was always told to have a family, be a father, and to never chase after a woman. But all of the crap didn't apply to him at all. Kurogane was some lucky bastard. He was going to forget everything he had every learned because _A) No matter what, he wasn't going to be able to start a family B) Kurogane didn't really want to be a dad and C) He was gay_. End of story. All that mattered was how Fai saw him in those beautiful, perfect, sapphire, eyes of his.

**_I don't know where_**

**_Confused about how as well_**

**_Just know that these things_**

**_Will never change for us at all_**

He knew he couldn't change Fai in such a short time, but that is why he wanted to be with him for as log as his mortal life would allow him. And even AFTER that! Death was no match for Kurogane! But he would wait until the mage was ready. Speaking of which, he had finally gotten out of the bathroom…again. He looked at his naked lover and just walked out like it was nothing. Oh well, at least he tried. Right now, Kurogane was too tired to even care. He was tenacious about getting Fai to admit his love and would…after a little nap. He had just woken up, but sex was more tiring than he thought. He just closed his eyes for a minute and the next, he was out cold.

**_If I lay here_**

**_If I just lay here_**

**_Would you lie with me_**

**_And just forget the world?_**

Kurogane awoke to the feeling of warmth next to him. He cracked open an eye and turned over, it was Fai. Last thing he remembered was that the mage walked out on him after he got out of the bathroom. Seeing the blonde's arms wrapped around his STILL naked self and breathing heavily immediately aroused him. He was about to go back to sleep when he felt something…Fai was also naked! He completely turned around and Fai's eyes were open, "Good Morning, Kuro-sleepy! I was cold and thought that, since you've been sleeping all day, your body heat would warm me up! Right?" The mage had a mischievous gleam in his eyes. Kurogane couldn't help it, he just HAD to!! He glomped Fai and did him for the second time. "Ah! Kuro-evil is being aggressive!" The ninja hushed him up, "Shut up…you're gonna wake the kids". Oh how Kurogane loved his life.

* * *

**dreamgirl: *smiles weirdly* He he, Kuro-daddy is really naughty. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!! I haven't updated my M story so I need some sort of implication! Well, anyway, for all those who like it...REVIEW!!! For all those who didn't...don't even get me started. Nah, I'm just kidding. But PLEASE REVIEW, it doesn't matter if it's good or bad, I'm a kid who is practicing her writing...I need comments on my writing so I could improve.**


	7. Broken

**dreamgirl: I'm sorry I didn't update at all during the day, I was out the whole day. So, I bring you this at 11:54 p.m. **

**disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, don't own TRC or "Broken", Lifehouse does.**

**ENJOY!!!**

* * *

**_Broken_**

The Tsubasa group was now in the country of Rekord. It all started very dramatically with Syaoran reading a book that contained something that had made the young boy cry. Apparently, the book shows a person the past of the person who touched it first. Luckily, Fai made sure to pass it to Kurogane before he passed it to Syaoran. It wasn't that he planned it, he didn't even know about it, but he just took precautions because he could sense the strong magic coming form the book. Well, now they were at their resting place. They had to rest up before they go out again, but instead, Fai began his usual writing of songs.

**_The broken clock is a comfort_**

**_It helps me sleep tonight_**

**_Maybe it can start tomorrow_**

**_From stealing all my time_**

The mage wondered, after being in Shura/Shara, if it was possible to travel through time. Of course, he knew it was possible, but he wanted to know if it was possible for HIM to go back in time. If doing something extra or NOT doing something the past altered the future…maybe he could…no, he couldn't. But he could at least dream.

_**And I am here still waiting**_

_**Though I still have my doubts**_

_**I am damaged at best**_

_**Like you've already figured out**_

What about Kurogane? Would he go back to change something in the past? Does he regret whatever choice he made or does he take it as a stepping-stone to growing up? The blonde gets up and walks down the hall and into the ninja's room. Weird enough, he had some sort of earphones in his ear and was singing along to an unheard song. "Pfft, Kuro-funny, you're singing without any music". The Japanese man suddenly stopped and immediately took the headphones out, "What the hell are you doing in here? I was just relaxing and listening to music on my 'eye-pod'. And wipe that stupid grin off your face, it's almost as bad as your fake one". Fai suddenly got serious and sat down on Kurogane's bed, "Kuro-sama, have you ever wanted to go back into the past and change whatever decision was made for you or something horrible you have done?" The shinobi's eyes grew wide and then began thinking, "Maybe. But if certain things hadn't happened, everything up until now wouldn't have happened. Talking about myself, I would've been at home with my parents, protecting Nihon and wouldn't have met you. Um…I mean, I wouldn't have gotten to know the kid, the princess, and an idiot mage who had something that he's hiding". Fai grew silent.

_**I'm falling apart**_

_**I'm barely breathing**_

_**With a broken heart**_

_**That's still beating**_

"What makes you think I'm hiding something?" Kurogane stated the obvious, "You never said that your first question was a hypothetical one, you just asked me to know if your reason was as good as mine. You have something that you wanna change. But listen to me; nothing good will come out of trying to alter the future. You will just get hurt twice as hard". The mage walked out in a daze, _'He knows. Kurogane definitely knows that I'm weak. He's not as dense as I thought, he's actually…right'._

**_In the pain_**

**_There is healing_**

**_In your name_**

**_I find meaning_**

The blonde sat down on his bed as he got to his own room. He grabbed his binder again and began to continue, 'In the pain there is healing'. That's what a certain somebody basically says to Fai. Is that true? From everything Fai has suffered, was it truly all for the best? Did he really have to be raped from his title, put in chains at a young age, have the people he loved die because of him, and have to give of magic in fear of him being captured? The blonde began to cry, but started to think of joyful moments in his life. The one time he actually smile a true smile was when he met a certain someone, _'Kurogane'._ He calmed down to the very thought of the ninja. He was his meaning.

_**So I'm holding on**_

_**I'm holding on**_

_**I'm holding on**_

_**I'm barely holding on to you**_

He wanted to die. Oh how many times he has said so. But just a few times isn't enough. He needed to say it to remind himself why he was here. He had nowhere else to go, so instead, he would just keep close to those who seemed like they wouldn't break. Even though he wouldn't allow himself to, he would hold on to Kurogane, because he was the only thing that kept him going.

_**The broken locks were a warning**_

_**You got inside my head**_

_**I tried my best to be guarded**_

_**I'm an open book instead**_

How could he not see it coming? All the jokes that were made, all the laughs that they had. How could he have not been aware? He knew the ninja saw through him like glass. He knew Kurogane was the only one to influence his actions. And he definitely knew that it was his own fault as to why the shinobi read him like an open put. He had let his guard down and he was mentally kicking himself for it.

_**And I still see your reflection**_

_**Inside of my eyes**_

_**That are looking for purpose**_

_**They're still looking for life**_

The very thought of the ninja sent shockwaves down Fai's spine. Whenever he would look him in the eyes, he would melt. Fai's cerulean eyes were full of lies, empty promises, a lost purpose, but they still had a bit of hope. And the bastard that ever took that hope from him would surely feel the wrath of Fai's hidden magic. The mage wasn't a lost case, but he wasn't strong either. He was just a coward that had no purpose in life no matter what he tries telling himself.

_**I'm falling apart**_

_**I'm barely breathing**_

_**With a broken heart**_

_**That's still beating**_

Fai was broken. Doesn't matter if Kurogane believes it or not, he was as worthless as a shattered china vase. Useless, empty, a liar, tainted. There were days when Fai would be truly happy, and there were days when he couldn't breathe because of all the horrible memories he has. The mage didn't want to love, his heart, mind, and body had been broken a countless number of times. Even through the toughest times, his broken heart was still hopeful and beating.

**_In the pain_**

**_Is there healing?_**

**_In your name_**

**_I find meaning_**

So, was it true that one needs to feel pain to feel happiness? Whoever thought that was a fool. True happiness does not come to those who were born to be misfortunate, never in a million years. People are either born with a perfect life…or not. It is inevitable. Or maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was using the saying. Inevitability is a course of life once someone chooses a path for themselves. Not one that is chosen by other people. So maybe, there was still hope.

_**So I'm holding on**_

_**I'm 'm holding on**_

_**I'm holding on**_

_**I'm barely holding on to you**_

Love just wasn't for him. He can't say he's ever tried it, but it's just one of those things you don't want to find out. Fai's heart has been broken, and not necessarily in a romantic way, but a broken heart is a broken heart. Kurogane might be an exception, though. The blonde felt that he would do anything for the ninja. Kurogane could step all over him like everyone else seemed to do, and he would still give up his life for him. Of course, it would hurt, the very thought of another broken heart hurt, but that's how much he cared for the shinobi.

_**I'm hanging on another day**_

_**Just you see what you will throw my way**_

_**And I'm hanging on to the words you say**_

_**You said that I will be okay**_

Until the day comes when he truly has nothing more to stand for, Fai would stay alive for three people. Of course, one person the most. He was taking chances with not only his life, but also everyone else's. He would stay with Kurogane just to see what other surprises he had for the mage. Fai would hang on to every word the ninja would say and believe that it will be okay.

_**Broken lights on the freeway**_

_**Left me here alone**_

_**I may have lost my way now**_

_**I haven't forgotten my way home**_

He didn't know where the most recent lyrics came from; they just seemed to appear on his paper. Some words didn't make sense, but he always found something to relate them to. He used to consider himself lost, with no hope. He is not alone anymore, he may be lost, but he will soon be found. One day, he will go back home and correct whatever needs to be corrected.

_**I'm falling apart**_

_**I'm barely breathing**_

_**With a broken heart**_

_**That's still beating**_

Even though Kurogane believes Fai can change, it'll take some time. The ninja doesn't seem to understand that Fai is damaged beyond repair. Albeit, that same ninja might the one to change that along with the efforts from the mage. Fai is falling apart and can't even breathe…but that'll all change in a matter of time. Or at least he so hopes. He once said to the princess,_ 'Sakura, you really are a kind hearted girl. Syaoran and Kurogane are good people aswell. I think it's time that I think what kind of person I want to be'._ His broken heart will eventually heal because it hasn't lost faith.

_**In the pain**_

_**There is healing**_

_**In your name**_

_**I find meaning**_

Fai is a fool. The same man who said "Whoever said 'one must feel pain to experience pleasure' is a fool" is a fool now because he believes in those same exact words. What or why, you may ask, caused this blonde to change his mind? Simple, because he will finally admit to himself (and himself only) that he is in love with another man. And not just any man, but the courageous Japanese ninja, Kurogane.

_**So I'm holding on**_

_**I'm holding on**_

_**I'm holding on**_

_**I'm barely holding on to you (2x)**_

Fai will never let go. Kurogane is his salvation and until the day he doesn't want the blonde, he will trust and love him. After finishing up his lyrics, there was a knock on Fai's door. A certain someone walked in, "I wouldn't change anything because everything that has happened so far allowed me to get to know you. The past isn't important to me, and after what we shared, it shouldn't matter to you either". Little did Fai know, that same exact night, both men would share another wonderful night together.

* * *

**dreamgirl: Please forgive my shortcomings, I am but a girl. Ha! Forget it, I let you all down by not updating all day!! Now it is 11:58 p.m. Anyway, READ AND REVIEW!!!**


	8. Time After Time

**dreamgirl: Great news!!! One of my best reviewers, SilverHinata888, is making a video on the first songfic I wrote, "Behind Blue Eyes". I'm backing her up 100% and all of my readers should too!!! You go SilverHinata888!!**

**disclaimer: Okay, I don't own ANYTHING!!! Got it? CLAMP owns TRC and Cyndi Lauper owns "Time After Time" but the Quietdrive version is much better.**

**Enjoy!!!**

* * *

**_Time After Time_**

The mage really pissed the ninja off. It wasn't just because he'd have sex with Kurogane and act like nothing happened, but mostly because Fai was a freakin' liar that never admitted anything. Kurogane saw through each and every lie like it was clear glass and finally had enough of it. Once they were in the copy Clow Country, Kurogane let Fai know that he wasn't like the kids; he let the blonde know that he couldn't be fooled. When Fai thought he was gone, he whispered to himself, _'Oh Kurgy, you really have a knack for finding things I'd rather keep hidden'_. But Kurogane wasn't just easy at that; he would be there for Fai…no matter what.

_**Lying in my bed, I hear the clock tick and think of you**_

_**Caught up in circles, confusion is nothing new**_

_**You say, "Go slow", I fall behind**_

_**The second hand unwinds**_

Kurogane was on his bed listening to his ipod again…just like always. As he listened to the song, he couldn't stop thinking about Fai. How he had used his magic to save them all and when the ninja told him that magic was magic, the idiot mage avoided the statement/question Kurogane had made. The garnet-eyed man didn't understand crap. First, the blonde flirts with him. Then, he says he can't be with him. Next, he goes all the way with the ninja. Lastly, he keeps his secrets hidden from the guy he freakin' sleeps with! It confused the hell out of Kurogane. _'He says he wants to take it slow and not seriously, but then I feel like I'm not up to speed or like I'm going too fast. Damn it, this is all BS',_ the ninja thought.

_**If you're lost, you can look and you will find me**_

_**Time after time**_

_**If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting**_

_**Time after time, time after time, time after time**_

Fai could always trust Kurogane. Had he not made that clear? If the mage felt lost, he had the ninja to help him find his way back. If the blonde fell into a deep shit-hole of depression, Kurogane was there to help him back up and keep him steady. If only it were Fai who had seen his past, maybe then the idiot would understand that even if one goes through a tough time, one could always keep hope and find happiness again. Kurogane made a vow, and may he quote, _'I will use my strength to protect those whom I love'_. One of those people whom Kurogane loves is Fai. Did he have to shout it into the dumb blonde's freakin' ear!?

_**Sometimes you picture me, I'm walking too far ahead**_

_**You're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said**_

_**You say, "Go slow", I fall behind**_

_**The second hand unwinds**_

The ninja knew that Fai was not only afraid of a serious commitment (one he couldn't fulfill) but he was also afraid of heartbreak, Kurogane could tell. The mage probably thought the Jap was more suitable with some wealthy woman instead of him. But that was bullcrap, Kurogane didn't want anyone but Fai. And he was willing to go at the blonde's pace to steal his heart.

_**If you're lost, you can look and you will find me**_

_**Time after time**_

_**If you fall, I will catch you, I'll be waiting**_

_**Time after time**_

In the world of Rekord, the Tsubasa group encountered some crazy shit, but it allowed Kurogane to learn more about the mage and his lies. It really didn't hit him WHY he was in love with a liar, but he knew why he was in love with Fai as a person. Fai wasn't only a coward; he was strong-willed (to a certain extent) but breakable at the same time. He seemed delicate, but tough with his tongue and knew exactly when to say what needed to be said. Although, he should've been extra careful with securing his own walls because the ninja knew that it was for the best.

_**After my picture fades, our darkness has turned to gray**_

_**Watching through windows, you're wondering if I'm okay**_

_**And you say, "Go slow", I fall behind**_

_**The drum beats out of time**_

But what would happen if Kurogane weren't there anymore? After the fight with those guardians from the library, it reminded the shinobi of what had happened with his father. The magical demons weren't string enough to kill Kurogane, but what if he encounters one soon? He didn't want to leave a broken mage and children that were like his own (albeit he was too young to be their real father). He wanted to be there for them all…especially Fai.

_**If you're lost, you can look and you will find me**_

_**Time after time**_

_**If you fall I will catch you, I'll be waiting**_

_**Time after time (2x)**_

The ninja was really getting pissed at the song he had downloaded from an "eye-tunes" store. He was pretty calm, concerning the fact that he just finished doing the blonde earlier, but there were a lot of things on his mind. He got up and walked into Fai's room, "You know, if you're ever lost or if you ever fall or something, I'm always here. You're not alone, I told you that before. Um…anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Sorry for interrupting whatever you were doing". He left without an answer, but he swore that he saw Fai smile a true smile. Kurogane was still worried about whatever would happen to him the future. Well, until that day comes, Kurogane would just try to keep Fai by his side at all times…no matter what.

* * *

**dreamgirl: How did you like it? I wrote while I was watching the episode they were in Rekord and all of these ideas. Anyway, PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	9. Nowhere To Go

_**Nowhere To Go**_

**dreamgirl: Hey guys!!! Guess what? I learned a new word today!!! All us girls out there who love yaoi stuff are "Fujoshi". Yeah, apparently, a fujoshi is a female who is a fan of homosexual men. OH YEAH!!! Actually, fujoshi literally mean (in Japanese) "dirty girl". HELL YEAH!!! O_O**

**disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own anything. Pathetic little me believes she does, but I don't. And the Backstreet Boys own "Nowhere To Go".**

**Enjoy!!!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**Lookin' for beauty I'm uncertain**_

_**Finding the strength inside the gray**_

_**Maybe I'm headin' for a breakdown**_

_**Or maybe that's okay**_

No matter how many bloody times Kurogane would call Fai beautiful, it wasn't true. The ninja didn't know how disgusting the mage actually was, so he couldn't possibly be telling the truth. But even though the blonde himself wasn't beautifully pure, he searched but was uncertain of his own feelings. He didn't trust himself not to get attached. He would keep looking for someone that could hold him forever, but he was at an end. A breakdown, that's all that would come out of trying.

_**Could be I'm hangin' on for dear life**_

_**Maybe I need to get a grip**_

_**'Cause you're the only one**_

_**Makes me feel like this so**_

Fai was hanging by a single thread. Even if he was suicidal, he didn't want to die just yet. He needed to get a grip on himself, if not…he would cause everyone else unhappiness. That one person would be displeased with having to deal with the mage's funeral and with the mage's decision period. But as Fai has admitted a long time ago in Rekord, he cared for the ninja. At the beginning, he was going to confess, but he remembered what great calamity that would cause. Kurogane was the only that made Fai lose himself and made him feel the way he did.

_**Save me, I'm falling again**_

_**Keep me from breakin' in a million pieces**_

_**In the end no matter what I do**_

_**There's nowhere, nowhere to go**_

_**Nowhere to go but you, yeah yeah**_

Speaking of which, Kurogane and Syaoran were out and that only left him and Sakura. It was awkward enough knowing that Syaoran was not always Syaoran, and after his little talk with the princess, it wasn't easy looking her in the eye. As he so quoted before, in Rekord, _'Sakura, you really are a kind hearted girl. Syaoran and Kurogane are good people as well. I think it's time that I think what kind of person I want to be' _He needed the shinobi to save me from falling into the depths of darkness and to keep him from breaking like he did before. The Jap was really the only answer…not death.

_**Try to mean nothing out of something**_

_**Promised myself I wouldn't care**_

_**Baby, you're makin' me a liar**_

_**'Cause I'm standin' here**_

Kurogane always saw past Fai's façade, even though he tried so hard to keep the locks secure, but it was useless pretending nothing happened. Fai didn't want to make something out of what happened between him and the ninja, he just didn't want to. He was stubborn and he knew it. The mage promised himself to never fall in love, to never stick to someone and to never care. Everything he had done with the red-eyed man made him an even bigger liar than he already was. He never wanted to leave Kurogane again.

_**You find a crack in my resistance**_

_**You find a way to wear me down**_

_**Yeah, I just look at you**_

_**And there's no way out**_

The blonde was sure there were no fractures or imperfections in his mask, but Kurogane just HAD to be the one to find a crack and see through it. The brunette wore Fai out because he always had to try so hard to make sure his walls weren't being invaded…in more ways than one. He tried to keep the lies up, he tried to seem alright, and he tried ever so hard to have the ninja believe whatever crap was coming out of his mouth. But whenever he would look Kurogane in the eye, he would lose his train of thought and melt whatever frozen piece of him was still in existence. And he knew it couldn't win, he was in too deep.

_**So save me, I'm fallin' again**_

_**Keep me from breakin' in a million pieces**_

_**In the end no matter what I do**_

_**There's nowhere, nowhere to go**_

_**Nowhere to go but you**_

Fai had so many new experiences that led him to write many songs. Why did he write songs? He himself had no bloody idea; he just felt it was easier than writing a book and trying to hide the fact that it was based on his own pathetic life. He would fall, he would break, but he would do whatever it takes to keep his "family" in tact. The blonde would try to keep away, he would even try to have the ninja mad at him, but everything he did always resulted in Kurogane grounding him into the nearest wall or table. Still, Fai didn't complain.

_**Every single road I take it's you**_

_**Asleep or wide-awake, it's you**_

_**And it's too late**_

_**For maybe you want to save me**_

The mage tried everything possible within his capabilities, but he sucked at everything he did. He would run, he would hide, he tried…but it was always, always, ALWAYS Kurogane he ended up at. He would be sleeping, walking, talking to someone and the only thing; the only PERSON on his mind was Kurogane. He had done so much to him and yet, Kurogane wanted to help.

_**I'm fallin' again**_

_**Keep me from breakin' in a million pieces**_

_**In the end no matter what I do**_

_**There's nowhere, nowhere to go**_

_**Nowhere to go but**_

Instead of talking to the princess, he sat on the couch; legs folded and took out his binder from an unknown place. He was just beginning his song when Sakura approached him, "Fay-san, are you troubled?" Ha! Great, he let his guard down and now even the mindless could see the true him, "No, Princess. I was just thinking of something that led me to begin writing my thoughts. But thank you for asking, I appreciate it". He thought that the girl would settle with a fake smile of his and go away. How wrong he was, "They'll be back any minute. There's no need to worry". Fai's eyes grew wide, "Huh?" He quickly kept a façade on, "What are you talking about, Princess?" Sakura looked at me incredulously, "You love him, don't you? I may look lost, but I just regained some memories of my brother and his advisor, Yukito. I don't believe that you aren't lonely without Kurogane-san. They'll be back and he'll make you feel loved again". She then went into the room she shared with Mokona and Syaoran.

_**Save me, I'm fallin' again**_

_**Keep me from breakin' in a million pieces**_

_**In the end no matter what I do**_

_**There's nowhere, nowhere to go**_

_**Nowhere to go but you**_

_'Worried, huh?'_ Fai thought to himself. He hadn't even thought that he felt lonely without the ninja. '_Wait…her…brother!?'_ The mage thought to himself of what kind of guardian would endanger a pure child's mind like that? Sure, the castle she lived in was big, but that didn't mean children weren't curious on what was going on at night. He'd have to remind himself to tell Kurogane about that later, right now, he was in the middle of his song. 'Save me, I'm fallin' again. Keep me from breakin' in a million pieces' Fai really did lean on the shinobi more than he should, but if he didn't…he would've never been so happy in his life. Kurogane was his answer and there was '_Nowhere to go_' but Kurogane. Fai had just finished up when the two others walked in and asked, "Hello, Fai-san. Where's Sakura?" Fai smiled, "She's in her room, Syaoran". He quickly left to greet the princess. The blonde was left with the brunette, "What's that in your hand?" The mage blushed and quickly put his song into his binder, "Oh, nothing, just a little poem. He he. Hey, Kurger-burger, I feel breakable today". Fai rushed into his room just to have Kurogane run after him and make him "whole" again.

* * *

**dreamgirl: Yeah, I'm still looking for the word for guys who like guys getting it on but are completely straight. For this, I call them REAL MEN!! I totally look up to Huni345 because he is a real man for like yaoi. You go Huni!!!**


	10. How To Save A Life

_**How To Save A Life**_

**dreamgirl: My life is so amazingly fun online, but so crappingly (not an actual word) boring in real life. I'll be a senior in Junior High starting September so right now, my life is as empty and unexciting as, well...crap. T_T**

**disclaimer: Dude, did I not just finish saying that my life is boring, that includes not owning TRC. And "How To Save A Life" belongs to The Fray.**

**Enjoy!!!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**Step one, you say, "We need to talk"**_

_**He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"**_

_**He smiles politely back at you**_

_**You stare politely right on through**_

After Kurogane had returned home, he and the mage had a little "rendezvous" in the bedroom. The thing was, the ninja had made a mistake while in the middle of that "rendezvous". He had said the very words Fai had prohibited him from saying…"I love you". He was so caught up in the heat of the moment that he felt that he just had to let the blonde know. Unfortunately, the one with blue eyes hadn't taken it so well. Albeit, the ninja didn't let the mage escape until both of them had been sated.

_**Some sort of window to your right**_

_**As he goes left and you stay right**_

_**Between the lines of fear and blame**_

_**You begin to wonder why you came**_

Fai had put on his mask and said, "Oh, Kuro-sama, you know you're not supposed to say stuff like that. He he, well, I'll be heading out now". With that, the mage left Kurogane alone, but the shinobi could read between the lines. The blonde was afraid and he obviously blames the Jap for his confused feelings. Fai probably wondered why he allowed himself to be bedded by his traveling partner.

_**Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life**_

Even though Kurogane had felt good about expressing his feelings once again, he felt like an asshole. He knew Fai didn't want to hear the words out in the open, yet he had ignored this fact and had been selfish. Never in his life had he encountered someone so sensitive and vague. If only he had chosen his words wisely, he would've been up all night with his beloved. If only he knew what was good for the mage.

_**Let him know that you know best**_

_**'Cause after all, you do know best**_

_**Try to slip past his defense**_

_**Without granting innocence**_

He couldn't sleep, no matter how much he tried. He decided to take a shower, get changed and change the sheets since (Fai was sleeping in the princess' room) Syaoran would be coming in to sleep. And he didn't need a whole dramatic shit reaction going on right now. He tried to talk to the mage about right and wrong, because at least Kurogane knew what was the difference. He didn't even need to try to see what was going on behind that little mask of his lover's.

_**Lay down a list of what is wrong**_

_**The things you've told him all along**_

_**And pray to God he hears you**_

_**And pray to God he hears you**_

Kurogane had tried telling the idiot that loving someone wasn't wrong, but lying to yourself and others was. The ninja had told Fai so many things that he began to wonder if the mage had listened to anything he had been saying. Once, Kurogane even told Fai to pray, to pray whenever he felt lost or that he couldn't consult with the ninja himself. Kurogane wasn't religious enough to say stuff like that, but he did. Since his mother was a priestess, he had learned to pray from a very early age. It had been so long since the last time he had, probably since his parents died. But one thing he had learned from praying, God answers whatever you ask for. He asked for strength and a stable emotional system, and he got it.

_**And where did I go wrong? I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life**_

Was Kurogane really one to fault? Yeah, he knew that he shouldn't have said something so personal, but he just couldn't help it. Apparently, his relationship with Fai was going to be even bumpier than he thought, and than it already was. He had just gotten out of the shower, got dressed, changed the sheets and was now listening to his ipod. Why the hell did it seem as if he was addicted to this contraption? Simple, because he WAS addicted to it. The song he had on this time had very emotional lyrics, _'I lost a friend somewhere along the bitterness'_. He was on the verge of throwing the bloody thing across the room when Syaoran knocked before entering. "Hello, Kurogane-san. I'm sorry that I am disturbing you. Fai-san has so chosen to sleep with Sakura this evening and suggested that I be in here to keep you company. I'm sorry for being such a burden". The ninja was totally pissed now, "Tch".

_**As he begins to raise his voice**_

_**You lower yours and grant him one last choice**_

_**Drive until you lose the road**_

_**Or break with the ones you've followed**_

He waited until Syaoran was out cold to sneak out of the room with the ipod still in his ears. He needed some fresh air and thought that going outside would do the trick. As he headed out the door, he noticed a certain blonde had already beaten him to the front porch, "Hey, fibber. How are the stars looking tonight?" Kurogane didn't really want to get serious (shocker! Really, it is), he just wanted to get past whatever wrong he had done. Fai turned around; tears and anger filled his eyes, "You bastard! How the bloody hell could you do such a thing? I told…I t-told you I w-would break i-if you d-did!" The mage was breaking down, and it was all Kurogane's fault. The ninja used a soft voice, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, but what I said was true".

_**He will do one of two things**_

_**He will admit to everything**_

_**Or he'll say he's just not the same**_

_**And you'll begin to wonder why you came**_

Kurogane didn't know what Fai had in store for him. The blonde was an open book, but he wasn't exactly predictable. Fai would both continue crying and yell at his ally or he would accept what was said and move on. Apparently, he had chosen a path in between, "You…I can't believe you! You always see the real me, you always find a way to break me, but no matter how much I want to hate you, I cannot bring myself to. What have you done to my heart?"

_**Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life (2x)**_

He had lost a friend, but had gained a lover. Well, their bond might've been broken in some parts, but were strengthen in others. They would've totally had makeup sex, but considering the fact that they were in front of a motel, and the kids were I their rooms, they didn't have much of a choice. Both men just kissed each other like their lives depended on it, "Kuro-love, don't think that you're forgiven. You may have a right to my body, but that does not mean that I am in love with you. Got it?" Kurogane just smirked and held Fai closer, "Yeah, sure, whatever. And I don't love you either". Both understood the other's sarcasm and went back inside.

_**How to save a life (2x)**_

_**Where did I go wrong? I lost friend**_

_**Somewhere along in the bitterness**_

_**And I would have stayed up with you all night**_

_**Had I known how to save a life (2x)**_

_**How to save a life (2x)**_

Life can never be based on "if only" 's. One's life is what they choose it to be. If one feels they want to die, another will feel they need to save that person. So, life doesn't actually suck, it's just bewildering. And that's exactly how Kurogane and Fai's bond is like. One crosses the line, the other pushes them back, just to be pulled even further over the line. These two had no idea how much their lives represented said metaphor.

* * *

**dreamgirl: So, still wondering why my life online is fun? Well, I'm excited 'cause I'm a new member in the group "The Infamous Grappling Hook" founded by ileana425 and Huni345. Let's go YAOI!!! And don't worry, I'm totally going to update "My Question, His Answer" today!**


	11. Savin' Me

**dreamgirl: Heh, no more skool!!! Well, not until the 20th...which sucks. So, I'll most likely update all of my fanfictions quicker than usual. But today was an exception, I didn't get up till noon and went to get my hair done and didn't get home till 3 cuz i went 2 go eat also.**

**disclaimer: I don't own TRC. "Savin' Me" actually belongs to Nickelback...not Fai. BUT IT MIGHT AS WELL BE!!**

**warnings: There will be a major spoiler from Tokyo Revelations, haven't seen it? Don't read this. It's mostly dialogue from the manga but some things have been changed to make it a bit romantic. **

**Enjoy!!!**

* * *

_**Savin' Me**_

The group had gotten to a city with broken buildings and rubbish lying around everywhere. They had encountered a group of people who wanted to kill them thinking they were robbers of there water. Kurogane had fought with their leader, Kamui, and had gotten his ass kicked. Apparently, Kamui was a powerful vampire who would do anything to protect Tokyo, which the Tsubasa group re-named "Acid Tokyo" due to its acid rain.

_**Prison gates won't open up for**_

_**On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'**_

_**Oh, I reach for you**_

Syaoran had changed personalities again, and so the "parents" had a little talk. During the talk, Kurogane and Fai hadn't been on good terms, "You always act cheerful, but you never get close to anyone. It's as if you don't want to get involved with others. But you were concerned about the kid's fever and the princess' memories. And in Rekord, you used magic". His mask was fading, "You said yourself that I couldn't die". Kurogane defied his answer, "You just won't let yourself die, but dying by someone else's hand is an entirely different matter. You used magic for their sakes". The mask was completely off, "I don't want anyone to get hurt because they were involved with me". There, he had finally said it; Fai never wanted to admit that he actually cared for his "family". There was a knock on the door and he sighed of relief.

_**Well, I'm terrified of these four walls**_

_**These iron bars can't hold my soul in**_

_**All I need is you**_

Kurogane grabbed him by the arm, "Don't think that you can get out of this discussion just like that. I've said it before, that has nothing to do with me". Fai smiled again, "Yes, I know. You don't have to worry about me". The ninja let go and walked away saying, "I'm not concerned about your past. So, quit playing around and think about the present". After the shinobi had left, Fai collapsed onto the floor from emotional exhaustion, "That's easier said than done…" The day after, Fai left Kurogane with Sakura and went hunting with Syaoran; there he noticed how different the boy would react to certain things. Later on, they were in the water, the same one Kamui had tried to protect. Syaoran was acting weird and even tore Kamui's arm off. The mage believed that it was still the same boy and that he still had good left in him, but that same boy had turned towards him and knocked him down on the floor.

_**Come please I'm callin'**_

_**And oh I scream for you**_

_**Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'**_

Fai was on the floor, been choked by Syaoran. He called out in his mind, _'Kurogane! Help, please, where are you?'_ He knew nothing good would come from saying it in his head, but he could at least try. Syaoran had an evil gleam in his eye as he touched Fai's left eye, "That eyes is the source of your magic, isn't it? To get the feathers back, I will also need this". Meanwhile, the ninja was carrying the princess down to where the blonde was. Fai's cry for help was subconsciously heard, but he was too late.

_**Show me what it's like**_

_**To be the last one standing**_

_**And teach me wrong from right**_

_**And I'll show you what I can be**_

Kurogane jumped into the water the minute his arms were free and saw Fai bleeding; the mage's eye had been gouged out and Syaoran was now eating it. The Jap was in a mental state of confusion, but quickly caught on, "Stop it!" He grabbed Syaoran's arm, "You ate his eye, didn't you? Hand him over". Syaoran wasn't listening; instead, he was gnawing at Fai's other eye. Kurogane threw him across the room and held on to Fai, "You bastard! This guy changed for your sake and the princess', just to see you smile!" The ninja might have been executed but by then, another Syaoran appeared. Simultaneously, Fai was half-knocked out but could hear the voices perfectly fine. He didn't want Kurogane to help him out; he wanted Kurogane to show him "what it's like to be the last one standing". Fai wanted to see Kurogane without a weakness, and he didn't want to see that Fai was his weakness.

_**And say it for me, say it to me**_

_**And I'll leave this life behind me**_

_**Say it if it's worth saving me**_

The semi-mage was dying, and he knew it. He had heard the doctor tell Kurogane that it was no use trying to save his life because he was going to sooner or later. Mokona spoke up, "Please, Yuko! Fai's dying…" Fai interrupted, "Don't! If I continue to live, Syaoran's magic will also live. Allow me to d…" Kurogane punched the wall with his fist, "What kind of person would just resign himself to that?" He strode over to where Fai was and grabbed him by the shirt. Fai smiled a true, sad smile and said, "I'm sorry". Again, he pretended to faint because he just didn't want to fight right now. All he wanted to hear was that his beloved would save him. But death felt like a bigger and stringer savior.

_**Heaven's gates won't open up for me**_

_**With these broken wings I'm fallin'**_

_**And all I see is you**_

"Witch, is there a way to save this guy", the ninja had said. Yuko responded, "There is…" Yuko told Kurogane to make a deal with Subaru to have him give his blood to save Fai. Instead, it was Kamui who offered to give Fai his blood. But, Yuko had said, "That Fai does not die is your request, Fai does not wish it. Therefore, the responsibility for making him live must also fall on you. You will become his bait. He will not drink anyone's blood but yours". Mokona sounded concerned, "That mean, if anything happens to Kurogane, Fai will…" Kurogane looked more concerned about Fai than the price, "I get, I'll pay the price". Fai tried stopping him but he got yelled at, "SHUT UP!!! If you want to die so bad, then I'll kill you. Until then, you've gotta live". Fai began to cry as he heard those words come out of his lover's mouth.

_**These city walls ain't got no love for me**_

_**I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story**_

_**And, oh, I scream for you**_

As the blood trickled into Fai's mouth, his body began to change. His eyes opened to resemble saucers. He cried out in pain but thought. _'No, no, no!!! I'm not supposed to life. Damn it, I am supposed to die! What the bloody hell has this ninja done!'_ Kurogane held him down as his body was reacting terribly. Yuko let the shinobi know that Fai's life would stay the same, and that his eye would not come back. Not only would he acquire talons, but Kurogane's life would also match that of his lovers. '_No! He couldn't have…'_ Fai was emotionally being thrown off a building and was falling when he heard that Kurogane didn't know that he'd have to be his "prey" when he made the deal. He said, "If I had hesitated, this guy would've died. I couldn't have let that happen".

_**Come please I'm callin'**_

_**And all I need from you**_

_**Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'**_

Yuko went on to tell Kurogane that if the mage were to regain his eye back, he wouldn't be a vampire anymore. With that said, he gently gathered the blonde into his arms and carried him downstairs. He believed that Fai was asleep, which he almost was, but he whispered anyways, "I did this for you. Don't ask me why, because you know the exact answer". Fai struggled inwardly trying to not let his emotions show and luckily, he pretended that he hadn't heard a thing. Little did the ninja know that the mage was fighting with his inner demons and needed him to keep him from falling.

_**Show me what it's like**_

_**To be the last one standing**_

_**And teach me wrong from right**_

_**And I'll show you what I can be**_

Fai had woken up the next morning to a gloomy day and a half-angry ninja next to him. He glared at the brunette for a few seconds and smiled, "Good morning…Kurogane". That had been the first time, since the journey began, and it felt weird. Even Kurogane himself had been surprised but quickly showed apathy. He walked away and Fai used Mokona to talk to Yuko. They talked about his ally's choice and he answered, "I was going to call him properly by his name, but it was funny that he got angry whenever I called him various names. It was so fun that I didn't realize that I've crossed the line. That's why I can't forgive him for letting me live. If I do forgive him, I'll be even closer to him". The dimensional witch tried to cheer him up, "What happened this time was not because you were together". Fai would have none of it; "Even so, I don't want to bring misfortune to others". He wanted to see Kurogane standing, without a worry that he had to protect the mage. He wanted to show the ninja that he wasn't breakable at all.

_**And say it for me, say it to me**_

_**And I'll leave this life behind me**_

_**Say it if it's worth saving me**_

_**Hurry I'm fallin'**_

Fai realized, after his talk with Yuko, that Sakura had gone to get the payment. As he walked towards the other two he heard Kurogane say, "There are things that will stay the same and things that have changed. Whatever the reason, I believe that it was for the best. I can manage". Fai was outraged by the fact that Sakura had gone by herself, but was even more annoyed by the changes that had to be made to protect those whom he loved. Once Sakura was back, they all sat down to talk to Yuko. There, everyone learned of a man named Fei Wan Reed, the same man who had scattered Sakura's memories, who kidnapped Syaoran, who killed Kurogane's mother and father, and who ruined Fai's life.

**_And all I need is you_**

**_Come please I'm callin'_**

**_And, oh, I scream for you_**

**_Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'_**

Fai remembered of a certain point in his life, when he was taken from his title as Prince of Valeria and thrown into prison. There, he kept saying, "I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. I want to die. But before that…I want to be loved by someone…before I die". Tears threatened to escape Fai's only eye, but he held them back due to the fact that he was surrounded by his "family". Fai had called Kurogane's name over and over in his head while going through hell. All he needed was Kurogane, and he wouldn't stop falling until the taller had caught him. But it was Fai's own selfish wish for him not to get any closer. Just because he wished it, didn't mean it would be granted.

_**Show me what it's like**_

_**To be the last one standing**_

_**And teach me wrong from right**_

_**And I'll show you what I can be**_

And as the day passed, the group decided to sleep off their exhaustion. Unfortunately, Fai was diagnosed with a case of insomnia. He hadn't written since Rekord and now that he had only one eye, he wasn't so motivated. But he sneaked out of the room the boys shared and went onto the balcony to write a song he had entitled, _"Savin' Me"_. He began to think of the things that had happened the past few days and wrote about how he felt, _'Show me what it's like to be the last one standing'._ He wrote even when he was sure that some one was watching him, _'Say it if it's worth saving me. Hurry, I'm fallin' _No one could have imagined the kind of enmity, sorrow, despair Fai kept hidden. Behind the thick façade, lie even more secrets than everyone thinks.

_**And say it for me, say it to me**_

_**And I'll leave this life behind me**_

_**Say it if it's worth saving me**_

_**Hurry I'm fallin' (2x)**_

* * *

**dreamgirl: I swear, next chapter will be better!! Don't kill me! Anyway, did you notice the similarities and differences from the manga? Maybe, nothing really change besides some of Kurogane's lines. But that part of when Fai's in prison, his thoughts are the exact same ones from the manga. I know, I just noticed too!!! I was, like, "Oh my freakin' God!! He actually said that!!" Go KuroFai!! Review if you support this pairing!**


	12. Until The Day I Die

_**Until The Day I Die**_

**dreamgirl: I bring this songfic to you in great honor because I totally LOVE this song. From the very first time I heard it, I was like, "KuroFai, KuroFai, KuroFai...This song represents KuroFai!!" And voila!! Here it is!**

**disclaimer: Don't own nothing. "Until The Day I Die" belongs to Story of the Year**

**ENJOY!!!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**Until the day I die**_

_**I'll spill my heart for you**_

_**Until the day I die**_

_**I'll spill my heart for you**_

When they got to Acid Tokyo, everything seemed like a waste of time, as if nothing were going to happen. How wrong Kurogane had been. He had fought with freakin' vampire and almost got killed! But that was the least of his problems. The ninja and his part time lover were in the middle of a fight. After Rekord, everything had seemed…different. He had still made love with the mage, but it didn't seem as forced, but Fai still had a lot of secrets that were hidden.

_**As years go by, I race the clock with you**_

_**But if you died right now you know that'd die too, I'd die too**_

_**You remind me of the times when I knew who I was**_

_**But still, the second hand will catch us like it always does**_

_**We'll make the same mistakes; I'll take the fall for you**_

_**Hope you need this now, I know I still do**_

A lot had happened since they arrived into Tokyo: Kurogane's discussion with Fai, Syaoran turning into some evil SOB, the princess disappearing and…the mage's eyes been pulled out of his friggin' head! They had been through so much together, and when the shinobi saw that one beautiful cerulean eye was missing…all hell broke loose. He hadn't been there to protect the one he loved most. He begged the mage and even demanded him to not die and fight for it, but the moron still wanted to die. Sure, they both had made mistakes while being together, but sharing their "precious moments" together were important, have they not gotten through to the mage? Kurogane would do anything for Fai, and that included becoming his "prey".

_**Until the day I die**_

_**I'll spill my heart for you, for you**_

_**Until that day I die**_

_**I'll spill my heart for you**_

Kurogane knew everything would change the moment he chose to stop the kid from eating Fai's other eye. He knew, even when he made that deal with the witch to keep the mage alive. He knew everything, and yet, he knew nothing. For example: Kurogane knew saving Fai's life would hurt both of them (emotionally and physically), but he never expected it to be excruciating. When the mage felt pain, the Jap felt pain as well. But none of this mattered because Kurogane would spill his heart for Fai until the day he died.

_**Should I bite my tongue until blood soaks my shirt?**_

_**Never fall apart so tell me why this hurts so much**_

_**My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you**_

_**But still we'll say, "Remember when"**_

_**Just like we always do, just like we always do**_

The ninja wanted to comfort the blonde as much as he could, but kept quiet instead. It wasn't just lies that he was tired of, it was the lies that were truths. Difficult to understand? Yes. Easy to overcome? No. The lies Fai told were the ones he would tell to protect others. The lies that weren't really lies were the ones he told to protect himself. Kurogane knew all about these lies, not exactly what they were, but what they could do to a person. And when Fai started to refuse before becoming a vampire, Kurogane grabbed him by the shirt and felt the sudden urge to choke him. Half because he hated him for giving up, and half because he told the mage that he couldn't die until the ninja killed him himself.

_**Until the day I die**_

_**I'll spill my heart for you, for you**_

_**Until the day I die**_

_**I'll spill my heart for you**_

_**Yeah, I'd spill my heart**_

_**Yeah, I'd spill my heart for you**_

That morning the blonde woke up and decided to use the brunette's full name, it stung. He never really liked the nicknames; still, it hurt him to know that their bond was now broken in some parts. Just when the ninja thought that he had torn down the mage's walls, taller and stronger ones were built to protect the insanity that lied ahead. Fai was not the same person before, or rather he WAS the same person, just his darker side had finally shown. It something Kurogane had wished for, just not like this. Even with a bad attitude, Kurogane would strive to protect Fai and do whatever the blonde wished.

_**My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you**_

_**We made the same mistakes, mistakes like friends do**_

_**My hands are at your throat and I think I hate you**_

_**We made the same mistakes**_

There were times when the Jap felt like killing the mage, and then there were times when he just wanted to make infinite love to him. This time, it was somewhere in between. Fai honestly believed that when Kurogane saved him, it was the biggest mistake he could make, along with becoming too close to the ninja. But Kurogane wanted nothing more than to hurt him, just to make up ad kiss him._ 'How could he be so stupid? Does he not understand how much we love him__?_' The ninja thought. The hardest part was convincing him to drink. Maybe it was a mistake, but sometimes two wrongs do equal a right. Fai was wrong to lie, and Kurogane was wrong for saving someone who didn't want to be saved. But what came out of this, absolutely nothing.

_**Until the day I die**_

_**I'll spill my heart for you (3x)**_

_**Until the day I die (2x)**_

The mage asks, "Why did you save me? What the hell have I done to deserve this?" The ninja glares, "Nothing, that's what. You don't fight for your life, you don't care whether you die or not…" The blonde gets angry, "That's none of your bloody business! What I do with my life is none of your concern!" The brunette sighs, "It is my concern. You think by saving you I might find out about your past, but I don't really care. Damn it, why don't understand that? I will risk my life for you until the end!" That is how they ended their discussion and haven't spoken since. Kurogane was frustrated and began to play his ipod for the first time in a long time. The song he was listening to annoyed him to no end. What surprises both of them is, they think this is the end. They think they can get away from all of this, but truth is…they can't. Their bond is already so strong, that nothing can break it. It is inevitable.

* * *

**dreamgirl: Wouldn't it just suck to be in love with a liar? You never know when their telling the truth or not. In KuroFai's case, Kurogane always knows when Fai is lying, but have you noticed something else? TRC is connected to Death Note!! In L's case, he can't always tell if Light/Kira is being truthful. Which sucks. Anyway, I'm gonna make a songfic to that to. REVIEW!!!**


	13. Better Than Drugs

_**Better Than Drugs**_

**dreamgirl: If I don't update one of these days, it's probably 'cause I'm dead. For the past 3 days now, I've been going to sleep at 5 in the morning and getting up at 10 or 12. I bring this to you while half asleep and puffy red eyes because I just finished reading Tokyo Babylon this morning and I finished watching X/1999 this morning too, and I freakin' CRIED!!! Whatever, screw CLAMP and it's angst!!**

**disclaimer: Okay, I may not hate CLAMP, but I'm not angsty so I can't possibly be okay with everything they write!! Anyway, I don't own any of this angsty shyt (spelled wrong on purpose). "Better Than Drugs" is own by Skillet.**

**ENJOY!!!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**Feel your every heartbeat**_

_**Feel you on these empty nights**_

_**Calm the ache, stop the shakes**_

_**You clear my mind**_

The Tsubasa group had arrived in Infinity and were now playing a game of "human chess". Like their lives a couple of days before, it was full of gore and emotional pain. Fai felt most of this pain. As a vampire, Fai would have to live solely on blood and that was difficult to ignore. He shared a room with Kurogane and Syaoran, since he can only drink from the ninja; he kept seeing the inviting pulse, hearing the warm blood swishing through him. That blood would save him from his internal misery, but he wouldn't give in.

_**You're my escape**_

_**From this messed up place**_

_**'Cause you let me forget**_

_**You numb my pain**_

_**How can I tell you just all that you are?**_

_**What you do to me?**_

Kurogane was Fai's escape from the terrible reality of what he had become, but he couldn't allow Kurogane to get close to him again for it was also too painful. He had just recently taken up drinking alcohol instead of blood because he couldn't bear the fact that if he drank from the shinobi, things might heat up and his walls will break down once again. The ex-mage looked never looked him in the eye, afraid that it would numb his pain and cause him to fall for those garnet eyes once more. How could the vampire let the other know that it wasn't personal, that he did care for him just that he couldn't anymore?

_**You're better than drugs**_

_**Your love is like wine**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' on to get me high**_

Fai had always wondered what drugs were like. Even in Celes, he saw people in depressing situations and picked a needle or two. He was never one to try, but he knew that drinking blood would be just as good. The love that he wished for had been given to him, and it was better than the wine he was drinking. A certain somebody could get him high in a matter of seconds, could make him forget his own name and how to walk.

_**You're better than drugs**_

_**Addicted for life**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' on to get me high**_

Kurogane had sent Syaoran away for the night, and Fai didn't like that. He was afraid of being alone with the ninja. Afraid that he might do something he regretted. Kurogane slashed open his wrist, "You should drink". The vamp refused turning away. The blonde could hear the blood swishing free, "It'll go to waste if you don't drink". It tempted him to no end, 'Screw it', the ex-mage thought. He grabbed the taller man's wrist and began to suck. Oh, this was the first time he's drank blood since becoming a vampire, and God, was it luscious. Fai knew he would be addicted for life.

**_Feel you when I'm restless_**

**_Feel you when I cannot cope_**

**_You're my addiction, my prescription_**

**_My antidote_**

After the first feeding, the two went back to their normal lives (how it was after Tokyo) and they avoided each other like nothing had happened. Fai still had insomnia and couldn't cope with all of the emotions he was feeling at once. Kurogane was a drug, a poison. Yet, he was something the blonde needed and was the only antidote to the same poison.

_**You kill the poison**_

_**Ease the suffering**_

_**Calm the rage when I'm afraid**_

_**To feel again**_

_**How can I tell you just all that you are?**_

_**What you do to me?**_

As Fai so well learned before, Kurogane was something bad and yet so good. He could be dangerous, yet tender. He was the antidote to the poison that he himself was. He was the only one who could ease Fai's pain and calm the rage that built up in the small man. Everything the ninja did, got to the ex-mage, but Fai couldn't let his guard down. He wasn't some cold-hearted bastard, he was just selfish. At least, that's what he thought of himself. He didn't want to get hurt, and he didn't want other people to get hurt either. Especially not those he loved.

_**You're better than drugs**_

_**Your love is like wine**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' on to get me high**_

Fai was half-drunk when Kurogane found him writing on a piece of paper and singing to himself. "Oi, what the hell are you doing up? Are you drinking MY sake bottle!?" The ninja nudged him to make sure he was alright, "Mage, get up!" Fai wasn't exactly aware of what was going on but he kept on writing what he believed was a song. It was a miracle he could even think of lyrics and write at the same time. _'Your love is like wine'_. He wrote while thinking of the man who was poking him.

_**You're better than drugs**_

_**Addicted for life**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' on to get me high**_

Kurogane was getting tired of trying to get the blonde's attention and thought, _'Well, he IS about 75% drunk, I might as well'_. The ninja grabbed the paper out of Fai's hands and as the vamp's head tilted up, Kurogane grabbed his chin with the other hand and kissed him hard. The kiss itself lasted a good 15 seconds, but to Fai, it was an eternity. Oh, how he missed to be kissed like that. But…WAIT!! He shouldn't BE kissing his ex-friend. He should be at least 50 feet away from the ninja, not right next to him and WRITING about him!! But he was so addicting that he gave in to his carnal needs.

_**How can I tell you just all that you are?**_

_**What you do to me?**_

_**Feel your every heartbeat**_

_**Feel you on these empty nights**_

_**You're the strength of my life**_

While the tempting began, Fai reminisced of the times when he used to get up in the middle of the night from nightmares. Kurogane was always there to help him get through it, and eventually, the nightmares went away. Now, the fair-haired man could literally feel the brunette's heart beat and loved the way he felt under his lover's well-toned body.

_**You're better than drugs**_

_**Your love is like wine**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' on to get me high**_

_'No!! This can't be happening, how could I have done this?' _Fai was in a mental tug of war. One side damned him for sleeping with the very same man that he swore he would never talk to. While the other gladly welcome what was given and looked on the bright side. There was no bright side. They had done it on the floor; right where the others could see them if they were awake. Kurogane's arms were currently wrapped around Fai when the vamp said, "Get the hell off of me". The ninja complied, got dressed and got up to leave, "Don't worry, nothing will change. I'll stay out of your life…until you want me back in". Fai couldn't tell if Kurogane was sorrowful, pained or vexed, but he knew that the ninja had a clear comprehension of the situation. If they were to have sex, it would be known as a mere past time and nothing more. They would be each other's boy toy, but not a lover.

_**You're better than drugs**_

_**Addicted for life**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' on to get me high**_

It hurt Fai deeply knowing that whenever the two would have sex, it was jus sex. He could call it "making love" because he didn't know if Kurogane still loved him or not. Not knowing something is worse than knowing the horrible truth._ 'Maybe this is how Kurogane has felt all along, not knowing the real me, not knowing what I was thinking. I really am a selfish bastard'_, the blonde thought. It had been over three days since the last time they slept together, and Fai found the song he had been writing before Kurogane stole it from him. He began to finish it, _'You're better than drugs, addicted for life'_. Loveless sex is the worst form of love a person could have. And right now, Fai was on the verge of breaking into pieces that could never be able to be put back together.

_**Feel you're every heartbeat**_

_**Feel you on these empty nights**_

_**Feel you comin' on so fast**_

_**Feel you comin' on to get me high (2x)**_

_**To get me high**_

_

* * *

dreamgirl: I think I'm emo....O_O LOL JK JK, I know I'm not emo, I don't cut myself and unlike Fai, I value my life. Anyway, CLAMP is depressingly awesome and if Fai and/or Kurogane die...So help me God I'm gonna march down to Japan and do something illegal to the ones who did that!! It's not a threat...it's a promise!! LOL I'm joking again! But I'm serious, this pairing is too good to suffer. Now that I'm done ranting, PLEASE REVIEW!!!_


	14. Stay With You

_**Stay With You**_

**dreamgirl: OMG!!!! I'm posting this really late because I woke up at 3:30 p.m O_O Yeah, that's mostly because I stayed up till almost 6 in the morning reading Yaoi manga. Anyway, I did this is half an hour and dropped the f-bomb once, so please don't kill me.**

**disclaimer: CLAMP owns Tsubasa RESERVoir Chronicles, this is just a non-pay fanfiction. "Stay With You" belongs to The Goo Goo Dolls**

**ENJOY!!! **

_**

* * *

**_

_**These streets**_

_**Turn me inside out**_

_**Everything shines**_

_**But leaves me empty still**_

_**I'll, I'll burn this lonely house down**_

_**If you run with me**_

_**If you run with me**_

After the first feeding and the first time they came together since Tokyo, Kurogane was sent into a mental state of shock. Not so much a comatose, but he felt lost in some way. He was a ninja, but when it came to Fai, he was ineffective. He still fought and played the game, but he just couldn't believe that he would sleep with the mage and pretend nothing happened the next day. He very well knew the blonde could do it, but it was his heart that was involved. Even though he was trained to not feel any emotions at certain times, he had never fallen in love so it was rather difficult for him.

_**And I'll stay with you**_

_**The walls will fall before we do**_

_**So take my hand now, we'll run forever**_

_**I can feel the storm inside you**_

_**I'll stay with you**_

Even if the vampire didn't want him around, he would stay with him. He wanted the walls that Fai had made, torn down before they, as people, did. He knew that the guy he was running from would probably kill the mage. And Kurogane, himself, would die trying to protect him, that's just the way it was. He could feel the very rage and a strong aura coming from the ex-mage, which was one of the reasons, he would stay with him till the very end. He wanted to bring his fair-haired lover peace of mind.

_**Am I fooled by my own desires?**_

_**I twist my fate just to feel you**_

_**And you, you turn me toward the light**_

_**And you're one with me, will you run with me?**_

Kurogane was never sensitive, and the day he found out he was, he had raped the mage. Well, it couldn't be counted as rape, but it was damn close. The shinobi had never let his heart become fool of just one person; he felt nothing after his parents died. But when he felt the pain from seeing Fai suffer and pay him no attention, he made his own selfish desires a priority. It was a "one-night stand" as some may call it, and it hurt him more than his uke. He couldn't believe that he had used the mage for sex and brush it off like dust. He was disgusted with himself, but if it was the only way he could get the blond to look at him, so be it. They were one, and he just needed the other to turn towards the light and run from his troubles WITH Kurogane…not alone.

_**And I'll stay with you**_

_**The walls will fall before we do**_

_**So take my hand now, we'll run forever**_

_**I can feel the storm inside you**_

_**I'll stay with you**_

The group had been in Infinity for a couple of days now and Fai had only fed once. The ninja sent Syaoran to sleep in the princess' room again and it seemed as if the vampire knew the routine already. Kurogane grabbed the sword and attempted to slit his wrist when Fai stopped him, "No, not like that. It seems too painful and your wound from the other day hasn't healed". The brunette seemed confused, "I don't care, and it's my responsibility. You have to eat". The blonde tore Sohi out of the ninja's hand and push him down onto the bed, "I will not allow you to feed me so foolishly like that. Let's do it MY way". The strong-willed side of Fai scared Kurogane a bit, but it also turned him on.

_**Now come in from this storm**_

_**And I taste you sweet and warm**_

_**Take what you need**_

_**Take what you need from me**_

Fai extended his fangs and, without warning, sunk them into Kurogane's jugular vein. The taller of the two winced but quickly got over it. He didn't speak until the hungry vampire was sated. The ninja attempted to get on top of the blonde, but the mage kept him in place underneath him. "The hell? Get off of me, damn mage!" Fai smiled an evil, sinister smile, "I said, we're going to do this MY way tonight". Kurogane's eyes widen to the realization of what was happening. _'Oh fuck!_' he thought. "No! No way in hell are YOU going to be seme!" he yelled out. Fai darkly laughed but said nothing as he used his vampire strength to hold Kurogane's hands above his head in one hand and used the other to undress him.

_**Now wake up this world**_

_**Wake up tonight**_

_**And run to me**_

_**Run to me now**_

It was now morning and the ninja hadn't slept at all because he had just gotten raped the night before. He realized he was in his bed and turned over to see the mage in his. He attempted to get up, but there came a shooting pain into his lower backside._ 'That bastard's gonna pay'_, he threatened inwardly. He sucked it up and got dressed for a new day of playing human chess. The whole day, he limped and believed that nobody noticed. "Kurogane-san, are you hurt? Why are you limping?" An innocent Sakura asked. The shinobi glared at Fai, who was behind the princess, "Uh…" The mage kept on a serious face and said, "It appears that our dear Kurogane-san let his guard down and was overcome at a little game I like to call '_doing it the Greek way'_, Princess". She looked at him, of course not knowing what it meant. She headed towards Syaoran and asked him, he turned to look at the brunette and blushed immensely. Kurogane frowned and noticed that this was Fai's way of teasing. A dark teasing, but teasing either way. They were closer than they thought. At the end of the day, Kurogane stayed as far away from Fai as possible and had his ipod on the whole time to a song called, "Stay With You". It was true, he believed, he would stay with the mage no matter what. Even if he was a complete asshole.

_**And I'll stay with you**_

_**The wall will fall before we do**_

_**So take my hand now**_

_**We'll run forever**_

_**I can feel the storm inside you**_

_**I'll stay with you**_

_**And I'll stay with you**_

* * *

**dreamgirl: There's nothing really to say besides REVIEW!!! Per favore, S'il vous plait, Por favor, Kudasai!!**


	15. Crawling

_**Crawling**_

**dreamgirl: This would've been up hours ago, but my computer was having some problems. Anyway, this takes place in Celes, it mentions Fai's twin brother, the real Fai. To avoid confusion, I spell it differently! Instead of Fai (Yuui), it's Fay. **

**disclaimer: Don't own. Never have. Never will. "Crawling" belongs to Linkin Park.**

**ENJOY!!!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**Crawling in my skin**_

_**These wounds they will not heal**_

_**Fear is how I fall**_

_**Confusing what is real**_

After the game in Infinity, Fai asked the dimensional witch if he could travel to Celes. Of course, no one allowed him to because the price would be his one remaining eye. Kurogane, being his little sex-toy, was the first who spoke up. The ninja let the vampire know that he wasn't alone, that he didn't have to pay the price, and that he was a complete dumb-ass if he thought he was. But losing an eye wasn't at all difficult compared to heading back to your hometown, knowing your family is going to suffer because of your shortcomings. Plus, Kurogane didn't know anything about Fai's hidden secrets, and the mage hoped he wouldn't find out while in Celes.

_**There's something inside me**_

_**That pulls beneath the surface**_

_**Consuming, confusing**_

_**This lack of self-control I fear**_

_**Is never ending, controlling**_

They arrived in a cold, blizzard-like country named Celes. When they got to that country, Fai's eyes become as cold as ice and as hard as diamonds. A reason why his glare became so cold is because he was standing right in front of the castle he had grown up in, Castle Ruval. It was a pale as snow but the memories weren't as pure. His self-control was losing and his "animal-like" side was surfacing. He was afraid that the last curse would be put into affect because he didn't want to see blood shed once again. It felt horrible stabbing someone as innocent as Sakura, and he didn't want to go through that kind of emotional pain again.

**_I can't seem to find myself again_**

**_My walls are closing in_**

**_(Without a sense of confidence)_**

**_(I'm convinced that there's)_**

**_(Just too much pressure to take)_**

**_I've felt this way before so insecure_**

The group entered the castle when suddenly, a man with long navy blue hair appeared. '_Ashura-ou_', Fai thought. Everything seemed to be going well besides the castle being in ruins and dead people laying around. It seemes as if from no where, the king introduced Fay's brother, Fay…the REAL Fay. The Fai the group knew was actually named Yuui. When the vampire thought that nothing could have gone worse, Ashura dared to show his "family" the mage's past. All of them.

_**Crawling in my skin**_

_**These wounds they will not heal**_

_**Fear is how I fall**_

_**Confusing what is real**_

Ashura showed the whole group his past and it brought back memories that he'd rather keep hidden. Fai remembers, the reason him and his brother were incarcerated was because they were twins. "Twins of Misfortune" they were nicknamed. They were princes of Valeria, but they pushed their mother into committing suicide BECAUSE they were twins. They were stripped of their high title and sent to an eternity in prison to suffer. They were both so young, not even six years old and they already had to suffer such consequences. One was sent to a tower and the other was sent to an underground Hell. These are part of the memories Fai…Yuui would like to keep for himself.

_**Discomfort, endlessly has pulled**_

_**Itself upon me distracting, reacting**_

_**Against my will I stand beside my own reflection**_

_**It's haunting how I can't seem**_

Fay, the real Fay, had always been brave, out-going, and honest. Yuui, on the other hand, was always quiet, a coward, and told lies no matter what. He never lied to his own twin, but he lied to others just so they wouldn't hurt his twin…or him. When some asked, "Do you have a brother?" He would answer, "No". Even though he was pretty sure everyone in Valeria knew who he was, he tried to hide the fact that he had a twin at all cost. And when the two of them were imprisoned, Yuui lied to Fay, "We'll leave this place. If we leave, we'll be able to use magic. Then, we'll go to another country. We'll go, the two of us together!" Yuui himself knew that they were empty lies, but he tried to believe them no matter what. He tried to be as strong as Fay, but whatever he tried came out as lies and as fake courage. He was so fake that his own reflection haunted him.

_**To find myself again**_

_**My walls are closing in**_

_**(Without a sense of confidence)**_

_**(I'm convinced that there's)**_

_**(Just too much pressure to take)**_

_**I've felt this way before so insecure**_

Yuui had seen too much death and blood shed from a very early age. After years of being kept underground, the emperor himself had gone mad and started killing innocent people. When Yuui encountered him, the emperor said, "Everything is the misfortune you twins invited. Your birth was the beginning of misfortune". Everyone had died and it was only Fay and Yuui left. Yuui always thought, 'Is that a sin just by living?' Yuui had gone mad, kept screaming and crying that it was useless and that it wasn't fair. The modern day Fai looked at the memories presented before him, he saw something he never knew happened. It was his brother's, Fay's, memories,_ 'I'm sorry, Yuui. If I had died back then, you would have been able to live without such thoughts'_. Fay had made a deal with Fei Wong Reed to kill him and save Yuui. The modern day Fai broke down on the floor and couldn't process so much in so little time. Fai felt trapped inside his own walls, there was too much pressure to take.

_**Crawling in my skin**_

_**These wounds they will not heal**_

_**Fear is how I fall**_

_**Confusing what is real (2x)**_

Ashura still went on to show the others his memories, to the point where Kurogane looked at him with pure disgust. The king showed the part of when Fei Wong Reed told him everything that was set for the future. He knew about everything that was going to happen, yet, he still went on the journey and broke people's hearts just to get a chance to revive his beloved brother. The part that broke his heart most was when Kurogane saw everything that he was ordered to do. The scene that was shown was when Fei Wong Reed told him about a young man that came from Nihon. He was ordered to kill everyone, including Kurogane. The ninja had enough and took his sword out, ready to fight. He walked towards Fai, he was going to get in his way. Ashura spoke out, "You know what you must do, Fai". The mage had to take down any obstacles in his way, and he was ready to blow Kurogane into smithereens. But something stopped him, he had let himself become too attached, even though he tried not to, he loved the ninja. He fought with him but he just didn't try as hard. He couldn't let his only salvation be put to death.

_**There's something inside me**_

_**That pulls beneath the surface**_

_**Consuming**_

_**(Confusing what is real)**_

_**This lack of self-control I fear**_

_**Is never ending, controlling**_

_**(Confusing what is real)**_

Kurogane was about to kill the blonde, but Fay had gotten in the way. After the usual sadness, Ashura still did not give up. The king went on to tell Fai the REAL reason he saved him, it was to kill him. But Fai didn't have the guts to kill someone again, he just couldn't, That's when Ashura chose to bring out an unconscious Sakura and attempted to kill her. Kurogane was about to kill the King when he was shot down and so Fai stood up, angered by the fact that the King had some never as to kill his lover. "I'm not kind, I'm just weak. Why don't we fulfill that wish of yours, Ashura, and mine". They fought until it seemed as if Ashura was going to crush the mage's throat, when suddenly…a sword made it's way to the king and was a through and through.

* * *

**dreamgirl: Even though I'm off from school, I still don't update fast enough, damn. I suck, that's all I've gotta say. Anyway, R&R!!!**


	16. Keep Holding On

_**Keep Holding On**_

**dreamgirl: Whoo hoo!!! Oh yeah, oh yeah. *does victory dance* This is the first time I completed a songfic at 11:47 a.m.!!! I'm so awesome. LOL, I just kidding.**

**disclaimer: CLAMP owns TRC. Avril Lavigne owns, "Keep Holding On"**

**Enjoy!!!**

_**

* * *

**_

_**You're not alone, together we stand**_

_**I'll be by your side, you know I'll take your hand**_

_**When it gets cold and it feels like the end**_

_**There's no place to go, you know I won't give in**_

_**No, I won't give in**_

Kurogane had stabbed Ashura for trying to kill Fai. Everyone had thought him dead, but the protective seal allowed him to live. When the ninja killed the king, he felt his power lessen, but it didn't matter, this man hurt Fai, and the brunette wouldn't rest until the man who's caused the mage so much pain has died. He turned to help the blonde, happy that he was alive, but the roof collapsed. Syaoran cried out, "What's going on?" Fai looked sad, "The world is closing off. This is one of the curses, one that will trap everyone and kill them if they don't get out". Kurogane attempted to help him up, but Fai automatically used his power to make a magic portal for the other two, "Get out of here!"

_**Keep holding on**_

_**'Cause you we'll make it through, we'll make it through**_

_**Just stay strong**_

_**'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you**_

_**There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do**_

_**There's no other way when it comes to the truth**_

_**So keep holding on**_

_**'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**_

Kurogane couldn't let his beloved stay and die in such a place. He attempted to free himself from the magic, but it was gone. Fai's portal had broke off because he didn't have enough magic. So, instead Mokona tells Syaoran that its earring can create a portal. He does just that and the opening is waiting for everyone. But of course, the opening started closing off Fai. "Go!!" Fai yells. Kurogane was so close and had the mage's arm in his left hand; he could easily pull him out. He thought, _'We'll make it through, Fai. Just stay strong!'_

_**So far away, I wish you were here**_

_**Before it's too late this could all disappear**_

_**Before the door's closed and it comes to an end**_

_**With you by my side I will fight and defend**_

_**I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah**_

The ninja faltered for a second because there came a voice into his head, 'If you want him to go with you…If you wish for it with all your heart…You have to exchange him for something that has the same magic power as him'. Kurogane came back after finally realizing what he had that had magical powers…his left arm. His left arm was the one that the mage put his sword into. His left arm was the one he used for writing, eating, fighting, everything. He would have to sacrifice his own arm for a mage that wanted to die. Was it worth it? Hell yeah.

_**Keep holding on**_

_**'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**_

_**Just stay strong**_

_**'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you**_

_**There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do**_

_**There's no other way when it comes to the truth**_

_**So keep holding on**_

_**'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**_

The brunette let Fai down for not even a second before slicing off his own arm. The blonde stood in disbelief, he had a hint of sadness, gratefulness, love, and a number of other things that were shown in his eyes. Kurogane left his arm, the sword and got the hell out of Celes. He didn't have enough time to think about what he was doing, but he knew that it was all for the person he loved most…a problematic, egotistical, beautiful, magnificent, blonde mage.

_**Hear me when I say, when I say, I believe**_

_**Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny**_

_**Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly**_

_**Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah**_

The shinobi was unconscious when they got to the new world. Fai was worried that this was the end for his lover, "No!! Kurogane, no, you can't die!!! You bastard" He was crying now, "You save me, for what? So you can die trying to save me?" The vampire went mad for a few minutes, kept screaming and crying about how much he loved the ninja and how sorry he was for all those lies. But then came a small princess and said, "It's all right now, he will not die. He is okay now". She had calmed down the mage when he himself couldn't, who was this girl?

_**Keep holding on**_

_**'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**_

_**Just stay strong**_

_**'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you**_

_**There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do**_

_**There's no other way when it comes to the truth**_

_**So keep holding on**_

_**'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**_

Meanwhile, Kurogane was having some weird dream even though he was on the verge of dying. He remembered a song he had on his ipod and put it together with the whole time they were in Celes, _'Keep holding on, 'cause you know we'll make it through. Just stay strong, 'cause you know I'm here for you'._ Why did all the damn songs he had on his ipod have to be so…fitting? He also dreamt a scene of when they arrived in whatever new world they were in, he knew he was out, but he guessed he was subconsciously aware of his surroundings. He was a ninja after all. He dreamt of a hysterical Fai yelling out love confessions and pleas of forgiveness. So the mage really did love him after all? Huh, that sure took a long time. But, Kurogane would always be there for Fai, he would be holding onto him for eternity and nothing could change their destiny together. Nothing.

_**Keep holding on**_

_**Keep holding on**_

_**There's nothing you could say, nothing you could do**_

_**There's no other way when it comes to the truth**_

_**So keep holding on**_

_**'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through**_

* * *

**dreamgirl: Did you like it? I started it the second I woke up and 10. *plays with fingers nervously* I don't know if my writing if getting better or worse. This moment in time is hard for me to write since it's rated T, sorry if everything's implied in the other chapters. Anyway, I can't wait for the next few chapters!!**


	17. Bring Me To Life

_**Bring Me To Life**_

**dreamgirl: Gomenasai!!! I didn't update at all yesterday. Don't cut off my head!!**

**disclaimer: Don't own TRC. "Bring Me To Life" belongs to Evanescence**

**Enjoy!!! **

_

* * *

_

_**How can you see into my eyes like open doors?**_

_**Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb**_

_**Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold**_

_**Until you find it there and lead it back home**_

Kurogane was currently unconscious from what the mage knew. The ninja had saved his life, not once, but multiple times. He even sacrificed his own arm for the blonde. And what has Fai done for him? Nothing. Absolutely…nothing. The vampire thinks back to all those times they were together, the brunette had always seen passed Fai's lies, had always known when something was wrong, and had always been there to protect him. He had found the mage's broken soul, but Fai, himself, didn't allow Kurogane to lead it back home.

_**Wake me up**_

_**(Wake me up inside)**_

_**I can't wake up**_

_**(Wake me up inside)**_

_**Save me**_

_**(Call my name and save me from the dark)**_

_**Wake me up**_

_**(Bid my blood to run)**_

_**I can't wake up**_

_**(Before I come undone)**_

_**Save me**_

_**(Save me from the nothing I've become)**_

Fai was in an unusual get-up called a "yukata" or something like that. Apparently, they had arrived in Nihon, Kurogane's home. It seemed that the ninja would stay because it was his mission, Kurogane had wanted to get back home. Now that he was home, would he stay? This was what worried the blonde the most. He hadn't even confessed to Kurogane yet; it couldn't just end like this! He still needed someone to take him out of the mold he was put into, someone to wake him up and save him from himself. That someone he wanted was Kurogane, and the shinobi was the only one that could do just that.

_**Now that I know what I'm without**_

_**You can't just leave me**_

_**Breathe into me and make me real**_

_**Bring me to life**_

It scared Fai to death knowing that Kurogane could die any second now. It had taken him this long to know what it would be like if the ninja died. The vampire would die, not only because he needed blood, it was because he loved him to the point of not knowing what to do with the current emotions he was feeling. Fai was now outside of Kurogane's room's door, because Princess Tomoyo asked him to. He had heard everything Kurogane and the princess said. "Have you understood the true meaning of strength?" Fai could just hear Kurogane smirk, "Who knows?" Fai loved the side of the ninja when he wouldn't admit anything. It seemed cute to the mage.

_**Wake me up**_

_**(Wake me up inside)**_

_**I can't wake up**_

_**(Wake me up inside)**_

_**Save me**_

_**(Call my name and save me from the dark)**_

_**Wake me up**_

_**(Bid my blood to run)**_

_**I can't wake up**_

_**(Before I come undone)**_

_**Save me**_

_**(Save me from the nothing I've become)**_

Kurogane went on, "Moreover, I don't at least regret giving up my arm at that time. I have always wanted strength so that people important to me won't be taken away by anyone anymore". Fai almost cried if it weren't for the fact that he had to stay quiet because Kurogane didn't know he was there. Tomoyo continued, "It seems you did understand the meaning of true strength". I moment passed before she again said, "Sorry t have kept you waiting. You may enter now". Fai breathed in and entered the room. He could snese the nervousness in both their bodies. "Hey", the ninja said after seeing a breath-taking Fai in a light blue yukata. Fai quickly punched Kurogane and said, "This is payback…Kuro-sama". Kurogane hid his happiness, 'At least we're back to nicknames'. Out loud the shinobi said, "You bastard, I'll kick your ass!" They both smiled and went back to the regular bond they shared.

_**I've been living a lie**_

_**There's nothing inside**_

_**Bring me to life**_

_**Frozen inside without your touch**_

_**Without your love, darling**_

_**Only you are the life among the dead**_

Fai had been living a lie, and Kurogane knew that, but that didn't stop both either one of them from making love that night. Of course, they would've right when Fai punched the ninja, Tomoyo was there and told them that they had to go and talk with the others. So, naturally, they couldn't have sex right then and there…which sucked. One thing was for sure, Fai was frozen without Kurogane's warm, loving touch. There was nothing inside those cold, blue eyes, nothing but lies. But Kurogane saw right into them and found the person Fai had become today.

_**All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see**_

_**Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me**_

_**I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems**_

_**Got to open my eyes to everything**_

_**Without thought, without voice, without soul**_

_**Don't let me die here**_

_**There must be something more**_

_**Bring me to life**_

The mage felt like a complete idiot for not realizing how much he felt for the ninja. He knew he loved him, but he didn't know that their bond fed on their love for each other. If one struggled, the other would be there to help him. Fai was kept in the dark his whole life, and now that both curses are broken, he can live freely with the love of his life. To the vampire, it seemed like a thousand years that he had been in prison, and running from Ashura, but with Kurogane, he felt like time was going by slowly but quickly. Like, everyday was a new exciting day, but it would be slow and seductive. Well, Fai's feelings are hard to understand…It's difficult. He was just glad that Kurogane was there to 'Bring him to life'.

_**Wake me up**_

_**(Wake me up inside)**_

_**I can't wake up**_

_**(Wake me inside)**_

_**Save me**_

_**(Call my name and save me from the dark)**_

_**Wake me up**_

_**(Bid my blood to run)**_

_**I can't wake up**_

_**(Before I come undone_**_

_**Save me**_

_**(Save me from the nothing I've become)**_

Right after the fight with Seishirou, and before his little rendevous in the bedrrom with Kurogane, Fai sneaked into his room and took out something he hadn't taken out in a long time…his binder. First, he wrote a song that he made up while in Celes but didn't have enough time to write down. Then, he began to write one entitled, '_Bring Me To Life'_. It was kind of emotional to a certain extent for the mage, but he finished it right when Kurogane entered the room. "Hey, take it off". Fai blinked, "What?" The ninja smirked, "I'm gonna make you feel like hell in a couple of seconds". He moved up to Fai and cornered him into a wall. The shinobi whispered into his ear, "You got your payback, now I'm getting mine".

_**I've been living a lie**_

_**There's nothing inside**_

_**Bring me to life**_

* * *

_dreamgirl: My laptop is being retarded and it's messing up EVERYTHING. Anyway, if I don't update soon, it's mostly because I'm watching Kyou Kara Maou. OMG, it's soooo freakin' hilarious!!_


	18. Your Guardian Angel

_**Your Guardian Angel**_

**dreamgirl: I really like writing these, but I think I'm starting to get lazy. I still write as well as possible but I don't update everyday like I'm used to. Instead, I've decided to update every other day. Like, Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and probably Sundays. But this series is almost over. Yeah, sorry to say, but it's true. **

**disclaimer: I don't own Tsubasa Resevoir Chronicles, CLAMP does. "Your Guardian Angel" is owned by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.**

**ENJOY!!!!**

* * *

_**  
**_

_**When I see your smile**_

_**Tears run down my face**_

_**I can't replace**_

_**And now that I'm stronger I've figured out**_

When Kurogane first woke up and spoke to the princess of Nihon, he also realized that he had no arm. He even figured out what _'true strength'_ was. His mind just spaced out when he thought of all the times Fai smiled a fake smile, Kurogane felt like crying and ripping the façade of. But now that both of them were stronger and now that he knew what was truly important to him, he would protect it.

_**How this world turns cold**_

_**And breaks through my soul**_

_**And I know, I'll find deep inside me**_

_**I can be the one**_

The brunette never really had a good idea of what made the world truly disgusting, but after having his parents killed, Fai's emotional state destroyed, it all just came together. It broke the shinobi's soul to see the mage in pieces, but knew he could be the one to glue him back up. Kurogane didn't want to see Fai's heart shattered, but he knew he was the only one to fix the blonde's damaged heart.

_**I will never let you fall**_

_**I'll stand up with you forever**_

_**I'll be there for you through it all**_

_**Even if saving you sends me to Heaven**_

_**It's okay, it's okay, it's okay**_

After his little talk with Tomoyo, he found out that Fai had been hiding behind the door listening to the whole conversation. It was embarrassing, but at least the vampire knew how he really felt. They talked for sometime, even after Fai punched him and went back to how they normally were, just with a stronger bond. They spoke to the other guests in the castle and at the end of the day, they shared another night together. Their first night since Infinity. Fai had disappeared and so Kurogane took some time to listen to his ipod.

_**Seasons are changing and waves are crashing**_

_**And stars are falling all for us**_

_**Days grow longer and nights grow shorter**_

_**I can show you, I'll be the one**_

Apparently, he had a song that was titled, _'Your Guardian Angel'_. The lyrics touched his heart and made sense. He would never allow Fai to fall, not again, and he would be standing right by Kurogane till the end. In Nihon, he realized that they were there during springtime and the ninja remembered that the ocean seemed very peaceful at this time of year. When he finally found Fai, they went outside before continuing anything inside. They took a walk over to the Sakura tree and sat down on the grass. They both heard the waves swishing and stared up at the stars that illuminated to night's sky like diamonds in outer space. Kurogane began to sing before he had a chance to stop himself, "Seasons are changing and waves are crashing and stars are falling all for us. Days grow longer and nights grow shorter. I can show you, I'll be the one".

_**I will never let you fall**_

_**I'll stand up with you forever**_

_**I'll be there for you through it all**_

_**Even if saving you sends me to Heaven**_

Fai was brought to tears and curled up into the shinobi's arms and let out tears of joy. Kurogane knew that this blonde, this man right here in his arms was the person most important to him. And always would be for as long as they both shall live. The brunette started singing again, "I will never let you fall, I'll stand up with you forever. I'll be there for you through it all, even if saving you sends to Heaven". Fai didn't stop crying but said through tears, "Kuro-pon, I didn't know you could sing so well". Said man blushed and laughed along with the mage, "Yeah, neither did I".

_**'Cause you're my, you're my, my**_

_**My true love, my whole heart**_

_**Please don't throw that away**_

_**'Cause I'm here for you**_

_**Please don't walk away**_

_**And please tell me, you'll stay, stay**_

They kissed and it soon heated up, so they moved it somewhere more private. Of course, no body would dare step into Kurogane's room without permission. They disrobed each other and began their...sexual practices with no hesitation. Usually, Kurogane's mind would be blank during sex, but this time he thought of how important Fai was to him. The, pale skinned, fair-haired, mage was his whole heart and always would be. Kurogane moaned but said through harsh thrusts, "Fai, I love you. I hope it's okay that I say that because I really feel strongly about this. I don't…uh…***moan*** usually say this, and listen, I want to protect you…forever".

_**Use me as you will**_

_**Pull my strings just for a thrill**_

_**And I know, I'll be okay**_

_**Through my skies are turning gray**_

Fai didn't know what to say to the sudden confession; he wanted to express his true feelings but was at a loss for words. Instead, the vampiric mage just kissed the ninja and urged him to thrust faster. Kurogane understood what his pale lover wanted to say, but he didn't care if he said the words or not. Even if Fai were using him, making him a puppet, a mere sex toy, Kurogane would be okay. The shinobi didn't care as long as he had Fai by his side at all times.

_**I will never let you fall**_

_**I'll stand up with you forever**_

_**I'll be there for you through it all**_

_**Even if saving you sends me to Heaven**_

The two didn't get to sleep till the early morning and fell asleep in each other's arms. Kurogane would never tire of making love to Fai; each time was like their first. Kurogane was certain he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Fai because he loved him, he wanted to protect him, and because it was inevitable. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to have kids, but that was okay with that. He was sure that would sacrifice anything to make sure that Fai never fell and stood with him to the very end. He might be killed trying to protect him, but he was an invincible ninja, he was sure he could fight Death if it ever came for him. Kurogane would do anything because it was all for Fai.

_**I will never let you fall**_

_**I'll stand up with you forever**_

_**I'll be there for you through it all**_

_**Even if saving you sends me to Heaven**_

_**I will never let you fall**_

_**I'll stand up with you forever**_

* * *

**dreamgirl: I'm sorry if lemons aren't your thing, but I was trying really hard not to write one. It came out as a slight lime, and concerning the moans, yeah, don't ask. I was still groggy from getting up and wasn't thinking straight. But I liked it, it was sot of funny to me so I left it. PLEASE REVIEW!!! **


	19. I Will Be

_**I Will Be**_

**dreamgirl: I think this is the quickest ting I've ever written. It's the same song as one of my solo songfics and has the same setting, but I did NOT copy anything besides one line from the other one. I try to make every fanfiction I write unique in it's own way. I'll try to have the next chapter up by tommorrow. Crap, my vacation's over and I have to go back to school. *SIGH* Damn.**

**disclaimer: DoN't OwN aNyThInG. o.O "I Will Be" BeLoNgS tO aVrIl LaViGnE aNd LeOnA lEwIs.**

**EnJoY!!**

* * *

_**  
**_

_**There's nothing I could say to you**_

_**Nothing I could ever do to make you see**_

_**What you mean to me**_

_**All the pain, the tears I cried**_

_**Still you never said goodbye and now I know**_

_**How far you'd go**_

A lot had happened since Celes and Nihon, Kurogane, Syaoran and Fai had gone to Clow country and had been to multiple worlds before finally arriving to one that contained the very man they've been looking for. The man that scattered Sakura's memories, the one who kidnapped Syaoran, the man that murdered Kurogane's mother, and the same goddamn man who ruined Fai's life. It was the moment everyone had been waiting for. And so they began the fight….

_**I know I let you down but it's not like that now**_

_**This time I'll never let you go**_

_**I will be all that you want and get myself together**_

_**'Cause you keep me from falling apart**_

_**All my life, I'll be with you forever**_

_**To get you through the day and make everything okay**_

The three men fought against all of Fei Wong Reed's pawns and won, but there was a sudden explosion. Fai and Kurogane were blown away and almost died. Then Fai realized everything he and the ninja had gone through. The shinobi had been there for the mage whenever he was broken, glued his scattered pieces together and kept him from falling apart again. It's sad to say that it took an explosion that could most likely kill both of them for the vampire to realize that he had been a fool in not telling his companion how he truly felt.

_**I thought that I had everything**_

_**I didn't know what life could bring**_

_**But now I see, honestly**_

_**You're the one I let inside**_

_**Now I can breathe 'cause you're here with me**_

Fai had wanted to die, as he so demonstrated not too long ago, but something in him changed. It didn't really have anything to do with the fact that he wasn't cursed anything; rather, it was the Japanese ninja he had come to know and love. He had a reason to live, he had a reason to not give up, and he had a reason why to change the person he was. The blonde believed there was nothing left for him in life, yet, he allowed his mental chains to be unbounded by some guy he met on an adventure. But thanks you that one special person, Fai can now breathe peacefully and have soundness of mind.

_**And if I let you down, I'll turn it all around**_

_**'Cause I would never let you go**_

_**I will be all that you want and get myself together**_

_**'Cause you keep me from falling apart**_

_**And all my life, I'll be with you forever**_

_**To get you through the day and make everything okay**_

The mental moment Fai was having would have been emotional except for the fact that there was a bloody war going on right in front of him. Fai knew that his heart had been unfrozen and was now able to feel emotions again. So, when he realized that this might be the end, he began to tear up. He had let Kurogane down so many times, it hurt him, but he never wanted to let the-greatest-thing-that-ever-happened-to-him go. Fai wanted to be all that Kurogane wanted him to be…the mage wanted to be a good person. Both men lay on the ground bleeding from various places; Fai turns to look at the man next to him. _'Oh, God, is he…dead?'_ Fai froze, _'No, no, NO! He cannot possibly die now that I…'_

_**Without you I can't breathe**_

_**I'm not gonna ever, ever let you leave**_

_**You're all I got, you're all I want, oh**_

_**'Cause without you I don't know what I'd do**_

_**I can never, ever live a day without you**_

_**Here with me, do you see you're all I need?**_

The vampire began to cry again when a voice said, "Hey, quit that sappy crying, you look like a freakin' girl when you do that". Fai's head shot up as he saw Kurogane sit up. He crawled over to the ninja and said, "I love you". Kurogane turned to him and said, "You don't know how long I've waited to hear those words". Fai's single eye lights up and starts to tear…again, "Kuro, love, _I will be all that you want_". Kurogane leaned in for a kiss and the mage allowed himself to be kissed, "You're such a dumb-ass, you're lucky I'm not some selfish greedy bastard because that took WAY too long to confess. But that's what I love about you, you go at your own pace". They would've laughed, but they realized something had just happened…

_**And I will be, all that you want and get myself together**_

_**'Cause you keep me from falling apart**_

_**And all my life, I'll be with you forever**_

_**To get you through the day and make everything okay (2x)**_

* * *

**dreamgirl: Yeah, yeah, I know it's not my best, but at least I wrote SOMETHING! But, whatever. Please review if you liked it or not. Constructive critics are free to write comments.**


	20. Whispers In The Dark

**_Whispers In The Dark_**

**dreamgirl: It's been too long. Like, seriously, it's been over two weeks or so. I've had this written but I just never re-read it or posted it. I feel so bad now, and many people have PM'd me saying that they want me to update quicker and for some reason, I go slower. I swear to God, for all the fans of my fanfic "My Question, His Answer", I PROMISE I'll go back to it once I'm done with this. I'm kinda on a hiatus but I'll make sure to continue it before the summer begins.**

**disclaimer: I wish I owned TRC, but "Whispers In The Dark" belongs to Skillet.**

**ENJOY!!!**

* * *

**_  
_**

**_Despite the lies that you're making_**

**_Your love is mine for the taking_**

**_My love is just waiting_**

**_To turn your tears to roses (2x)_**

Someone had been killed. Yes, and that someone had been Syaoran…the clone Syaoran. It all happened in a blink of an eye and before everyone knew it, Fai had just gained something from the child's death. His eye. Since Clone Syaoran had just been murdered trying to protect the real Syaoran, the eye he ate went back to its rightful owner, Fai. He didn't have enough time to react but he was fully grateful for it. Of course, Kurogane still didn't say anything but thought, _'Damn, sure, the mage gets his freakin' eye back but I still have no arm. Oh well, I'm not regretting anything, it just sucks that he got his eye back but I didn't get anything from it'._

_**I will be the one that's gonna hold you**_

_**I will be the one that you run to**_

_**My love is a burning, consuming fire**_

It didn't really matter to the shinobi, as long as he could turn Fai's tears into roses (so-to-say) he would be the mage's for the taking. Kurogane believed that he was the only one that would hold and care for Fai. If the blonde needed help, the ninja would be there for Fai to come running to. The brunette's love for the paler man exceeded romance, it was a passionate, fiery NEED to pleasure and protect the mage. His love was 'a burning, consuming fire' that would burn for all eternity.

_**No, you'll never be alone**_

_**When darkness comes**_

_**I'll light the night with stars**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

Even while they were in the current fight with Fei Wong Reed, Kurogane could tell that Fai worried for him and how they would be able to win without losing their lives. Kurogane grabbed Fai's hand, "Don't worry, _'you'll never be alone_'. It's like a song I once heard, _'when darkness comes, I'll light the night with stars'_. Trust me, we'll get through this". Fai held onto the ninja and kept a firm grip, "I do, and I am sure we will prevail".

_**No, you'll never be alone**_

_**When darkness comes**_

_**You know I'm never far**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

_**Whispers in the dark**_

Kurogane was pretty sure that his lover knew that he would never be alone and that the ninja was never far from reach. When life seemed took dark to move forward, Kurogane would always be there to whisper hope in the dark. They fought to the death and even had people they knew die in battle. It was not something Fai had wanted to see, because death was something detestible to the current mage. Of course, death and suffering was all he knew since childhood, but he did not wanted to experience such things now that he was a new person.

_**You feel so lonely and ragged**_

_**You lay here broken and naked**_

_**My love is just waiting**_

_**To clothe you in crimson roses**_

Kurogane understood Fai's feelings from just glancing at his face from afar. He knew that the fair-haired man hadn't expected to see so much gore. He felt empathy for the man because he was striving to get away from the very scene in front of them. In the shinobi's point of view, he saw Fai, not only a lover, but as a lonely child who lied on the ground _'broken and naked'_. And all the brunette wanted to do was clothe him '_in crimson roses'_ along with his love.

_**I will be the one that's gonna find you**_

_**I will be the one that's gonna guide you**_

_**My love is a burning, consuming fire**_

The ninja knew he was the one who would find the true Fai, who truly was Yuui. He knew that the mage tried and even considered himself to be changed, but they both knew that he was just trying to convince himself. He needed time and effort to truly make a difference in his life so he can honestly say,_ 'I have changed and I will not go back'_. Kurogane was sure that he was going to find him, guide him, and bring him back to the place where he belongs. All Fai needed was a bit of encouragement and love and that was exactly what Kurogane was giving him.

_**No, you'll never be alone**_

_**When darkness comes**_

_**I'll light the night with stars**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

While in battle, both men stopped to think about there whole journey and what was to come if they both lived through this war. Kurogane kept fighting but let his mind wander about. He began to remember when he first met the mage, what his first impression was and how he felt. He remembered that he thought said mage was a kiss-up, a pretty boy who seemed too flashy. Yet, his fake smile said it all, that he was just some troubled boy that needed to be set onto the right path. Kurogane automatically knew, or at least FELT, that he was in love. He tried to deny it many, many times, but he couldn't let it go.

_**No, you'll never be alone**_

_**When darkness comes**_

_**You know I'm never far**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

He remembered the time they were in Jade, and in Koryo. When he first got kissed by that mage-lady, he felt awkward and disgusting. That hadn't been the first time he had kissed a girl, but this time it made everything so very different. First thing's first, from the kiss, because of being so disgusting, he knew he was gay. Second, the last time he had kissed a girl was when he was fourteen, and that was WAY before he questioned his sexuality. Third, it wasn't the same from his first time because this time, he had someone he loved and wanted to reserve everything he had for the person he loved most.

_**No, you'll never be alone**_

_**When darkness comes**_

_**I'll light the night with the stars**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

A lot of things had happened in the young shinobi's life. He was just in his mid-twenties and had already begun getting stress lines from all of the shit he had just gone through on this journey. And if that weren't enough, he had an idiot mage to look after!! But that wasn't a burden on Kurogane, this was, actually, the first time he has ever wanted to save someone because he loved them. He has never regretted ANY choices he has made while being with Fai. Not even the time in Oto, not even the time they were in Piffle, not when they were in Edonis, nor Shura or Shara. Never has he regretted anything during his time with the Tsubasa group.

_**No, you'll never be alone**_

_**When darkness comes**_

_**You know I'm never far**_

_**Hear my whispers in the dark**_

The battle was bloody, but the Tsubasa Group prevailed and defeated Fei Wong Reed. Never had either one of them ever wanted someone dead so badly. Syaoran wanted to pummel Fei Wong Reed for scattering Sakura's memories; Fai wanted to stay out of it but felt that he should do what Fay would have wanted him to do; and Kurogane wanted vengeance for his parents' deaths. And each one of them succeeded in what they wanted to achieve. Now, all there was left to do was one thing. Kurogane went up to Fai and took out something he had been meaning to give to Fai for some time. He bent down on one knee and said, "Fai…Yuui, will you do me the honor of taking my hand in marriage?" The ninja wasn't really used to sappy words like what he just said, he just repeated the very words his father had told him that he used when he asked for his mother's hand in marriage. The mage's eyes grew wide and began to tear, "Y-yes!! I do!!" Kuogane was tackled to the ground and grunted, "Oi, we're not getting married just yet". It made the shinobi happy to see a smile on the pale man's face. He would do ANYTHING to keep it that way.

_**Whispers in the dark (3x)**_

* * *

**dreamgirl: Yeah, I'm not sure if TRC really ends like that, but, hey, this is fanfiction, I can dream, can't I? It kinda sucked at the end for some apparent reason, but I hope that doesn't ruin the story. The next chapter will be the last and I PROMISE I'll end it fantastically!!! REVIEW!!!**


	21. At The Beginning

_**At The Beginning**_

**dreamgirl: No, I'm not dead, just a little depressed, so that's basically the reason I haven't written in almost a month!!! But I would like to thank SilverHinata888 for bringing my spirits up and so I finished this all in one day. This will be the end of the songfic saga, sorry to say but it's the truth. I would like to give my thanks to all my reviewers and buddies!! **

**disclaimer: I don't know TRC, I don't own Kurogane OR Fai (much to my despair). And I most certainly DO NOT own "At The Beginning", Donna Lewis and Richard Marx do.**

**ENJOY!!!**

* * *

_**We were strangers starting out on a journey**_

_**Never dreaming what we'd have to go through**_

_**Now here we are and I'm suddenly standing**_

_**At the beginning with you**_

Today was the day. Today was, finally, the day Fai would be married off to Kurogane. Yes, it took years for the magician to finally open up and allow someone to steal his heart away. Fai had no idea what married life would be like, although, it couldn't be much different than it already was what with living in Nihon with Kurogane and the two other teenagers. The blonde had finally come to accept the fact that Ashura was dead, so was Fei Wang Reed, and the journey was over. It all seemed too good to be true.

_**No one told me I was going to find you**_

_**Unexpected, what you did to my heart**_

_**When I lost hope, you were there to remind me**_

_**This is the start**_

The blue-eyed man never would've guessed or imagined that the very man he was supposed to kill would end up being his eternal lover and friend. Ashura had told him that he would never find someone to crack the ice around Fai's heart, but it seems that he was wrong. Not only had the ninja stolen his heart, he had shown him warmth and affection like no other. Something he had been missing his whole life. Fai now sat in his room, along with Tomoyo and Sakura, preparing for the ceremony. "Oh my goodness, Fai, you look beautiful!!" Tomoyo said. Now that he was loved, he felt confident in everything he did, which led him to accept the shinobi's proposal. He finally had a chance to start over again.

_**And life is a road and I want to keep going**_

_**Love is a river I want to keep flowing**_

_**Wonderful journey**_

Fai looked into the mirror and viewed a beautiful young man with long blond hair and blue eyes the color of the ocean, who had on a well-made, pale-white, uchikake. He had tears in his eyes. Never, in a million years, would he have believed that there would come a day in his life when he would be taken to love for the rest of his days. The journey he had gone on was a tough one, and a bloody one at that. But the love he had encountered was like a never-ending waterfall that he never wanted to end. The path he had been put on or that was chosen for him was, indeed, the correct one.

_**I'll be there when the world stop turning**_

_**I'll be there when the storm is through**_

_**At the end I want to be standing**_

_**At the beginning with you**_

After they had killed Fei Wang Reed, the group had gone their separate ways; Sakura with Syaoran and Fai with Kurogane. But after a couple of months, they all ended up in Nihon, where they all live today. It was no coincidence, it was definitely meant to be. And now, Fai was staring at himself in shock because he couldn't believe what was going on. He had won. If life was a game, he had won. He had finally gotten what he always wanted…to be loved. He would be with brunette to time indefinite, and he would be there even if they would be confronted with opposition. He would be with him to the end.

_**We were strangers on a crazy adventure**_

_**Never dreaming how our dreams would come true**_

_**Now here we stand unafraid of the future**_

_**At the beginning with you**_

The pale man now sat in a chair, where the Princess' were fixing his hair and put it into a scrunchie with a blue stone on it. Fai never cared to cut his hair, but it was about the same length as it was the last time they were in Nihon. The Princess' left him alone once he was ready and would call him down once the preparations were complete. Fai began to get up and search for a black binder he had stored away many months ago. He sighed, _'Where the bloody hell is that binder?'_ He searched and searched to the point where he almost tore his traditional wear trying to look for it. And when he finally did find it, he began to write…_'We were strangers starting out on a journey'._

_**And life is a road and I want to keep going**_

_**Love is a river I want to keep flowing**_

_**Life is a road, now and forever**_

_**Wonderful journey**_

He hadn't written a song in ages, and the day of his wedding seemed like a convenient time to begin one. His whole life on the journey flashed before his eyes as he wrote on a piece of paper. Life was a road that Fai wanted to keep going on because it would be waste now that he had what he wanted. The love he was and still is shown would be for nothing; he most certainly could not die now. He remembered of the time when he and Kurogane had first met, when they first spoke to each other, the first joke, the first kiss, the firs caress, the first time, and even the first love confession. He remembered all of it, and this was the end of the road for him. This was the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow.

_**I'll be there when the world stops turning**_

_**I'll be there when the storm is through**_

_**At the end I want to be standing**_

_**At the beginning with you**_

Well, he couldn't necessarily say it was the end, but it was the end of his previous life. This was his second chance; his afterlife. And what a wonderful afterlife this was going to be. Kurogane had always protected him since the beginning. Now, it was his turn to pay back. Binding himself to his long-time lover was just a guaranteed that your lover isn't going to run off with someone else. But really, it was more than that between the two men. They had been living together for who knows how long and have been sleeping together for a long-time, too. It was already as if they were married, but making official was another step, yet it was nothing important. The step they were taking was contradictory to them. They were practically married already, but having a member of the royal family make it validated was a complete other matter.

_**Knew there was somebody somewhere**_

_**Like me, alone in the dark**_

_**Now I know my dream will live on**_

_**I've been waiting so long**_

_**Nothing's gonna tear us apart**_

Fai didn't know how, it just was. He didn't feel like he was being tied down or taken away from freedom, he felt like a new man now that he would be "Mrs. Suwa" or so many in the castle had teased him about. It finally meant that he hadn't confused his feelings nor had Kurogane confused his, they both wanted to be with each other even after death. And that made the mage very content. He was glad that he had found someone would has gone through pain such as losing a loved one like he has. Although he couldn't resurrect his twin, at least he knew he was in a better place now, and so was he.

_**And life is a road and I want to keep going**_

_**Love is a river I want to keep flowing**_

_**Life is a road, now and forever**_

_**Wonderful journey**_

He went on to write the lyrics,_ 'Life is a road and I want to keep going. Love is a river…'_ He was just finishing up when there came a knock on his door, "Hello, Fai-san? We're all set in the ballroom. We'll begin whenever you're ready". To his disappointment, it was Syaoran; he really wanted it to be his fiancé. It had been a couple of days since he and Kurogane had made love, but it was because of the country's custom of abstaining from sex until after the wedding. It kind of made Fai feel guilty about "tainting the wedding bed" before he was even married. But what was done was done, at least he had "tainted the wedding bed" with Kurogane, someone he would spend the rest of his life with. Fai shouted through the door, "Okay, I will be right there!" He breathed in and out…it was time.

_**I'll be there when the world stops turning**_

_**I'll be there when the storm is through**_

_**In the end I want to be standing**_

_**At the beginning with you**_

Fai walked down the hall and into the ballroom, it seemed as if time had stopped. Music played as he walked down the aisle towards Kurogane. Tomoyo was leading Fai, since he had no one else to hand him over to the groom. Fai had on a thin veil that covered his face, but he could see the man in front of him perfectly. Kurogane stood there, over six feet tall in a, jet black, men's kimono and had his hair slicked back. Fai laughed at the thought that Tomoyo must've been the one to the ninja to tame his spiky hair. Once Fai's hand was put into Kurogane's, the ceremony began. Amaterasu was the one giving these two in matrimony. She began and once it came to the vows, she smiled, "Do you, Youou Suwa, take Fai to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?" Kurogane turned to Fai and held his hands tight, "I do".

_**And life is a road and I want to keep going**_

_**Love is a river I want to keep going on**_

_**Starting out on a journey**_

It was Fai's turn to say the vows. The queen continued, "And do you, Fai D. Fluorite, take Youou to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, for as long as you both shall live?" Fai took a deep breath and didn't hesitate to answer, "I, most certainly, do". Amaterasu concluded, "I now pronouce you man and…erm…husband. You may now kiss the groom". Kurogane pulled Fai into a large embrace and kissed him like there was no tomorrow. Amaterasu coughed, "Youou, you will have plenty of time to ravish your husband on your HONEYMOON, we have the reception to hold right now if you don't mind". Fai peeled his husband off and blushed. Just when he thought everything couldn't get any better Kurogane whispered in his ear, "I love you, Fai. Always have and always will. I'll protect you with all my strength. _Come what may, I'll be with you until my dying day_" *****. He was enjoying the start of his married life. It was now the end of Fai (Yuui) Fluorite, and the new beginning of Fai Suwa. And he was now at the beginning with the love of his life.

_**Life is a road and I want to keep going**_

_**Love is a river I want to keep flowing**_

_**In the end I want to be standing**_

_**At the beginning with you**_

* * *

***This is a line from a fan-made wallpaper with KuroFai on it said. It's really nice, I have it on my laptop and ipod. If you want to see it, you can either PM me or privately email me (email is better because fanfiction blocks out certain stuff even if it's appropriate).**

**dreamgirl: I hope I didn't disappoint you guys. I tried my very best and after a month of not writing, it really puts my efforts to work. I would like to give a thank you to all my readers that stuck with me to the end!!! I plan on making songfics to almost every anime I watched and I hope you like them to. And for those who are on the midst of murdering because I have put "My Question, His Answer" on hiatus, wait no longer!!! I'm in the middle of writing the next chapter so please forgive me. And to the rest of you, please review, I would really appreciate it very much. **


End file.
